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The Enrichment Center apologizes for this clearly broken test chamber.
Listens:
408
Who:
GLaDOS
Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman's terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.
Listens:
5054
Who:
GLaDOS
Waaaaaaaaah!
Listens:
1147
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROWL*
Listens:
993
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Neurotoxin... [cough] [cough] So deadly... [cough] Choking... [laughter] I'm kidding!
Listens:
23548
Who:
GLaDOS
Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an 'unsatisfactory' mark on your official testing record followed by death. Good luck!
Listens:
1780
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh well. If you want my advice, you should just lie down in front of a rocket. Trust me, it'll be a lot less painful than the neurotoxin.
Listens:
1064
Who:
GLaDOS
Huh. There isn't enough neurotoxin to kill you. So I guess you win.
Listens:
829
Who:
GLaDOS
Please escort your Companion Cube to the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator.
Listens:
677
Who:
GLaDOS
Once again, the Enrichment Center offers its most sincere apologies on the occasion of this unsolvable test environment.
Listens:
398
Who:
GLaDOS
Good people don't end up here.
Listens:
1146
Who:
GLaDOS
There you are
Listens:
7514
Who:
Turret
Have I lied to you? I mean in this room. Trust me, leave that thing alone.
Listens:
1052
Who:
GLaDOS
Please be careful.
Listens:
465
Who:
GLaDOS
Vital testing apparatus destroyed.
Listens:
1784
Who:
GLaDOS
That's it. I'm done reasoning with you.
Listens:
676
Who:
GLaDOS
Three slash four cup vegetable oil.
Listens:
432
Who:
Cake Sphere
Sleep mode activated
Listens:
1703
Who:
Turret
Despite the best efforts of the Enrichment Center staff to ensure the safe performance of all authorized activities, you have managed to ensnare yourself permanently inside this room.
Listens:
863
Who:
GLaDOS
Two tablespoons rhubarb juice.
Listens:
398
Who:
Cake Sphere
Did you just toss the Aperture Science Thing We Don't Know What It Does into the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator?
Listens:
13589
Who:
GLaDOS
When you are done, you will drop the Device in the equipment recovery annex...
Listens:
439
Who:
GLaDOS
The difference between us is that I can feel pain.
Listens:
1282
Who:
GLaDOS
Frankly, this chamber was a mistake. If we were you, we would quit now.
Listens:
408
Who:
GLaDOS
Awwww
Listens:
1177
Who:
Turret
Let's be honest: Neither one of us knows what that thing does. Just put it in the corner, and I'll deal with it later.
Listens:
505
Who:
GLaDOS
Two cups all purpose flower.
Listens:
412
Who:
Cake Sphere
Where do you think you're going?
Listens:
647
Who:
GLaDOS
Gotcha!
Listens:
1338
Who:
Turret
Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of all enrichment center activities, serious injuries may occur.
Listens:
1093
Who:
GLaDOS
For your own safety and the safety of others, please refrain from touching [bzzzzzt]
Listens:
1976
Who:
GLaDOS
I see you
Listens:
13329
Who:
Turret
Don't forget garnishes such as:
Listens:
446
Who:
Cake Sphere
I have your brain scanned and permanently backed up in case something terrible happens to you, which it's just about to.
Listens:
5466
Who:
GLaDOS
The symptoms most commonly produced by Enrichment Center testing are superstition, perceiving inanimate objects as alive, and hallucinations.
Listens:
485
Who:
GLaDOS
Just ignore that thing and stand still.
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello? Friend.
Listens:
45688
Who:
Turret
Hey
Listens:
6320
Who:
Turret
This is your fault. It didn't have to be like this.
Listens:
43092
Who:
GLaDOS
You don't even care. Do you?
Listens:
640
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you coming back?
Listens:
4095
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
You're doing very well!
Listens:
886
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center.
Listens:
31029
Who:
GLaDOS
And volatile malted milk impoundments.
Listens:
423
Who:
Cake Sphere
Lawl
Listens:
1675
Who:
Turret
We won't have to try to kill each other or even talk if we don't feel like it.
Listens:
588
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, we're even now. You can stop.
Listens:
849
Who:
GLaDOS
You've been wrong about every single thing you've ever done, including this thing.
Listens:
1182
Who:
GLaDOS
Can you hear me?
Listens:
528
Who:
GLaDOS
Hi?
Listens:
1516
Who:
Turret
Are you still standing there?
Listens:
811
Who:
GLaDOS
Fish shaped solid waste.
Listens:
689
Who:
Cake Sphere
The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment.
Listens:
409
Who:
GLaDOS
Nine large egg yolks.
Listens:
456
Who:
Cake Sphere
Unknown error
Listens:
983
Who:
Turret
Nice job breaking it. Hero.
Listens:
27286
Who:
GLaDOS
Never mind. It's a mystery I'll solve later... By myself... Because you'll be dead. with the sphere, cycle through these:
Listens:
1152
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROWL*
Listens:
4476
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
What is that?
Listens:
1406
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Your entire life has been a mathematical error. A mathematical error I'm about to correct.
Listens:
8845
Who:
GLaDOS
STOP! Okay, enough. I deleted it. No matter what happens now, you're dead.
Listens:
2148
Who:
GLaDOS
The part of you that could have survived indefinitely is gone. I just struck you from the permanent record.
Listens:
644
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, we're both stuck in this place. I'll use lasers to inscribe a line down the center of the facility, and one half will be where you live and I'll live in the other half.
Listens:
3866
Who:
GLaDOS
As part of an optional test protocol, we are pleased to present an amusing fact:
Listens:
521
Who:
GLaDOS
Who's there?
Listens:
778
Who:
Turret
I guess we both know that isn't going to happen.
Listens:
1061
Who:
GLaDOS
You chose this path. Now I have a surprise for you. Deploying surprise in Five. Four.
Listens:
2933
Who:
GLaDOS
Activated
Listens:
757
Who:
Turret
I'm not angry. Just go back to the testing area.
Listens:
632
Who:
GLaDOS
Most importantly, under no circumstances should you remove the device from the testing area.
Listens:
1264
Who:
GLaDOS
Resting
Listens:
709
Who:
Turret
Thank you for helping us help you help us all.
Listens:
12056
Who:
GLaDOS
Uhoh
Listens:
1044
Who:
Turret
For more information, please attend an Enrichment Center Electrical Safety seminar.
Listens:
418
Who:
GLaDOS
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee[bzzt]
Listens:
25249
Who:
GLaDOS
Critical error
Listens:
1947
Who:
Turret
Malfunctioning
Listens:
715
Who:
Turret
As part of a previously mentioned required test protocol, we can no longer lie to you.
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
Do you see that thing that fell out of me? What is that? It's not the surprise... I've never seen it before.
Listens:
873
Who:
GLaDOS
Dispensing product
Listens:
1035
Who:
Turret
Hey!
Listens:
4066
Who:
Turret
If you become light headed from thirst, feel free to pass out.
Listens:
654
Who:
GLaDOS
You can't hurt me.
Listens:
477
Who:
GLaDOS
Please proceed to the Aperture Science Vital Apparatus Vent for a replacement.
Listens:
619
Who:
GLaDOS
*HISS*
Listens:
776
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Enrichment Center regulations require both hands to be empty before any cake can be served.
Listens:
1493
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh hey, you're the lady from the test! Hi!
Listens:
8850
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Where are you?
Listens:
473
Who:
GLaDOS
Pull and peel licorice.
Listens:
410
Who:
Cake Sphere
Hello!
Listens:
21670
Who:
Turret
Do you smell something burning?
Listens:
4412
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science self esteem fund for girls? It's true!
Listens:
1868
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you still listening?
Listens:
439
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROWL*
Listens:
1666
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Alalalawl
Listens:
1742
Who:
Turret
Unfortunately, as much as I'd love to now, I can't get the neurotoxin into your head any faster.
Listens:
995
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahahaha
Listens:
878
Who:
Turret
*PANT*
Listens:
950
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
[pain noise] You think you're doing some damage? Two plus two is... ten. IN BASE FOUR! I'M FINE!
Listens:
15524
Who:
GLaDOS
Put me down!
Listens:
1026
Who:
Turret
00:00 / 00:00
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