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Please escort your Companion Cube to the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator.
Listens:
693
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's be honest: Neither one of us knows what that thing does. Just put it in the corner, and I'll deal with it later.
Listens:
518
Who:
GLaDOS
First, however, note the incandescent particle field across the exit.
Listens:
553
Who:
GLaDOS
An escape hatch will open in three... Two... One.
Listens:
409
Who:
GLaDOS
You're doing quite well.
Listens:
434
Who:
GLaDOS
*HISS*
Listens:
2184
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Okay, we're even now. You can stop.
Listens:
883
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
4678
Who:
GLaDOS
While it has been a faithful companion, your Companion Cube cannot accompany you through the rest of the test. If it could talk - and the Enrichment Center takes this opportunity to remind you that it cannot - it would tell you to go on without it because it would rather die in a fire than become a burden to you.
Listens:
9612
Who:
GLaDOS
You don't even care. Do you?
Listens:
4113
Who:
GLaDOS
Think about it: If that thing is important, why don't I know about it?
Listens:
409
Who:
GLaDOS
I am being serious now. That crazy thing is not part of any test protocol.
Listens:
409
Who:
GLaDOS
Rest assured that an independent panel of ethicists has absolved the Enrichment Center, Aperture Science employees, and all test subjects of any moral responsibility for the Companion Cube euthanizing process.
Listens:
3200
Who:
GLaDOS
The experiment is nearing its conclusion.
Listens:
452
Who:
GLaDOS
Shutting down
Listens:
15077
Who:
Turret
There you are
Listens:
1283
Who:
Turret
This isn't brave. It's murder. What did I ever do to you?
Listens:
677
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done, android. The Enrichment Center once again reminds you that android hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance.
Listens:
13493
Who:
GLaDOS
And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals.
Listens:
574
Who:
Cake Sphere
I have your brain scanned and permanently backed up in case something terrible happens to you, which it's just about to.
Listens:
5643
Who:
GLaDOS
Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an 'unsatisfactory' mark on your official testing record followed by death. Good luck!
Listens:
1827
Who:
GLaDOS
Please be careful.
Listens:
485
Who:
GLaDOS
We won't have to try to kill each other or even talk if we don't feel like it.
Listens:
603
Who:
GLaDOS
Deploying
Listens:
783
Who:
Turret
*GROWL*
Listens:
4532
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Do not submerge The Device in liquid, even partially.
Listens:
1077
Who:
GLaDOS
Is anyone there?
Listens:
20313
Who:
Turret
*HISS*
Listens:
1049
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Hi?
Listens:
1542
Who:
Turret
Excellent. Please proceed into the chamberlock after completing each test.
Listens:
658
Who:
GLaDOS
A party associate will arrive shortly to collect you for your party.
Listens:
677
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfect. Please move quickly to the chamberlock, as the effects of prolonged exposure to the Button are not part of this test.
Listens:
1122
Who:
GLaDOS
You on the other hand, are going to find its deadliness a lot less funny.
Listens:
743
Who:
GLaDOS
Please put me down
Listens:
1266
Who:
Turret
*ROAR*
Listens:
752
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
You did it! The Weighted Companion Cube certainly brought you good luck.
Listens:
729
Who:
GLaDOS
You don't even care. Do you?
Listens:
662
Who:
GLaDOS
With it, you can create your own portals.
Listens:
884
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop squirming and die like an adult or I'm going to delete your backup.
Listens:
4329
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodbye.
Listens:
7224
Who:
GLaDOS
Nine large egg yolks.
Listens:
466
Who:
Cake Sphere
Quit now and cake will be served immediately.
Listens:
5269
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, we're even now. You can stop.
Listens:
485
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey
Listens:
6400
Who:
Turret
The difference between us is that I can feel pain.
Listens:
470
Who:
GLaDOS
Target lost
Listens:
856
Who:
Turret
One 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix.
Listens:
2178
Who:
Cake Sphere
*SNARL*
Listens:
882
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Ewww, what's wrong with your legs?
Listens:
18221
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
The Enrichment Center is committed to the well being of all participants.
Listens:
434
Who:
GLaDOS
Four large eggs. One cup semi-sweet chocolate chips.
Listens:
564
Who:
Cake Sphere
What's that?
Listens:
1187
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Excuse me
Listens:
837
Who:
Turret
Make no further attempt to leave the testing area.
Listens:
409
Who:
GLaDOS
Good job on that, by the way. [back to computer voice] Sarcasm sphere self-test complete.
Listens:
12369
Who:
GLaDOS
Incinerate your Companion Cube.
Listens:
669
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm not angry. Just go back to the testing area.
Listens:
658
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you still there?
Listens:
11936
Who:
Turret
Okay. The test is over. You win. Go back to the recovery annex. For your cake.
Listens:
3917
Who:
GLaDOS
Candy coated peanut butter pieces. Shaped like fish.
Listens:
3952
Who:
Cake Sphere
Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper.
Listens:
1346
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, look at THAT thing! No, that other thing.
Listens:
4485
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
And volatile malted milk impoundments.
Listens:
429
Who:
Cake Sphere
Fiberglass surface resins.
Listens:
423
Who:
Cake Sphere
These intra dimensional gates have proven to be completely safe.
Listens:
432
Who:
GLaDOS
Three slash four cup vegetable oil.
Listens:
450
Who:
Cake Sphere
You're not smart. You're not a scientist. You're not a doctor. You're not even a fulltime employee. Where did your life go so wrong?
Listens:
18428
Who:
GLaDOS
This is your last chance.
Listens:
432
Who:
GLaDOS
Your business is appreciated.
Listens:
1119
Who:
Toilet
This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grid will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it - for instance, the Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube.
Listens:
967
Who:
GLaDOS
'Shall not be mourned.' That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official.
Listens:
4039
Who:
GLaDOS
It's not too late to turn back.
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay fine: DO touch it. Pick it up and just... Stuff it back into me.
Listens:
641
Who:
GLaDOS
Just ignore that thing and stand still.
Listens:
446
Who:
GLaDOS
You're not going the right way.
Listens:
661
Who:
GLaDOS
*PANT*
Listens:
972
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Ahahaha
Listens:
911
Who:
Turret
Lawl
Listens:
1726
Who:
Turret
Leave. It. alone.
Listens:
653
Who:
GLaDOS
Two tablespoons rhubarb juice.
Listens:
409
Who:
Cake Sphere
I could take a bath in the stuff. Put it on cereal. Rub it right into my eyes. Honestly, it's not deadly at all. To me.
Listens:
7480
Who:
GLaDOS
No hard fealings
Listens:
1351
Who:
Turret
That thing is probably some kind of raw sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it.
Listens:
4417
Who:
GLaDOS
However, it cannot accompany you for the rest of the test and, unfortunately, must be euthanized.
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, you're wasting your time. And, believe me, you don't have a whole lot left to waste.
Listens:
769
Who:
GLaDOS
All I know is I'm the only thing standing between us and them. Well, I was.
Listens:
1701
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! [Surprise]
Listens:
4829
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science self esteem fund for girls? It's true!
Listens:
1924
Who:
GLaDOS
No further compliance information is required or will be provided, and you are an excellent test subject!
Listens:
501
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations! The test is now over.
Listens:
1902
Who:
GLaDOS
*GNASH*
Listens:
18822
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
STOP! Okay, enough. I deleted it. No matter what happens now, you're dead.
Listens:
2176
Who:
GLaDOS
The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment.
Listens:
415
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodnight
Listens:
12453
Who:
Turret
*GROWL*
Listens:
4273
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Testing cannot continue until your Companion Cube has been incinerated.
Listens:
736
Who:
GLaDOS
Dispensing product
Listens:
1053
Who:
Turret
I don't blame you
Listens:
1054
Who:
Turret
You're not a good person. You know that, right?
Listens:
2368
Who:
GLaDOS
Enrichment Center regulations require both hands to be empty before any cake can be served.
Listens:
1522
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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