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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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What's your point, anyway? Survival? Well then, the last thing you want to do is hurt me.
Listens:
155004
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't believe me? Here, I'll put you on: [Hellooo!] That's you! That's how dumb you sound.
Listens:
131816
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it? WELL I WON'T LET YOU. How does that feel?
Listens:
66528
Who:
GLaDOS
Rrr, I hate you.[PAIN LAUGHTER]
Listens:
64759
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello? Friend.
Listens:
46426
Who:
Turret
This is your fault. It didn't have to be like this.
Listens:
43435
Who:
GLaDOS
That has got to be the dumbest thing that-whoah. Whoah, whoah, whoah. [The voice has subtly changed. Smoother, more seductive, less computerized]
Listens:
43391
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't hate you
Listens:
34847
Who:
Turret
Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center.
Listens:
31661
Who:
GLaDOS
Get ready to fling yourself. Fling into space.
Listens:
30289
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said 'Goodbye' and you were like 'no way' and then I was all 'I was just pretending to murder you'? That was great!
Listens:
28162
Who:
GLaDOS
Nice job breaking it. Hero.
Listens:
27620
Who:
GLaDOS
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee[bzzt]
Listens:
25684
Who:
GLaDOS
Neurotoxin... [cough] [cough] So deadly... [cough] Choking... [laughter] I'm kidding!
Listens:
23981
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
21938
Who:
Turret
There really was a cake...
Listens:
21914
Who:
GLaDOS
Killing you and giving you good advice aren't mutually exclusive. The rocket really is the way to go.
Listens:
21594
Who:
GLaDOS
Is anyone there?
Listens:
20342
Who:
Turret
*GNASH*
Listens:
18845
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
You're not smart. You're not a scientist. You're not a doctor. You're not even a fulltime employee. Where did your life go so wrong?
Listens:
18494
Who:
GLaDOS
Ewww, what's wrong with your legs?
Listens:
18244
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Do not look directly at the operational end of The Device.
Listens:
17911
Who:
GLaDOS
[pain noise] You think you're doing some damage? Two plus two is... ten. IN BASE FOUR! I'M FINE!
Listens:
15849
Who:
GLaDOS
Shutting down
Listens:
15099
Who:
Turret
I'm going to kill you and all the cake is gone.
Listens:
14281
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you just toss the Aperture Science Thing We Don't Know What It Does into the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator?
Listens:
13871
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done, android. The Enrichment Center once again reminds you that android hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance.
Listens:
13570
Who:
GLaDOS
I see you
Listens:
13531
Who:
Turret
Thank you for helping us help you help us all.
Listens:
12530
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodnight
Listens:
12465
Who:
Turret
Good job on that, by the way. [back to computer voice] Sarcasm sphere self-test complete.
Listens:
12388
Who:
GLaDOS
Ayeyeyeyeye
Listens:
11975
Who:
Turret
Are you still there?
Listens:
11948
Who:
Turret
The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that you will be baked, and then there will be cake.
Listens:
11730
Who:
GLaDOS
Por favor bordón de fallar Muchos gracias de fallar gracias
Listens:
11722
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done! Remember: The Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter to Work Day is the perfect time to have her tested.
Listens:
9925
Who:
GLaDOS
Someday we'll remember this and laugh. and laugh. and laugh. Oh boy. Well. You may as well come on back.
Listens:
9637
Who:
GLaDOS
While it has been a faithful companion, your Companion Cube cannot accompany you through the rest of the test. If it could talk - and the Enrichment Center takes this opportunity to remind you that it cannot - it would tell you to go on without it because it would rather die in a fire than become a burden to you.
Listens:
9625
Who:
GLaDOS
I invited your best friend the companion cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him.
Listens:
9552
Who:
GLaDOS
Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test.
Listens:
9266
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROAN*
Listens:
9162
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Your entire life has been a mathematical error. A mathematical error I'm about to correct.
Listens:
9010
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh hey, you're the lady from the test! Hi!
Listens:
8934
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Oh, what's in here?
Listens:
8755
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
What are you doing? Stop it! I... I... We are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you.
Listens:
8715
Who:
GLaDOS
Unbelievable ! You, [louder] Subject Name Here[/louder], must be the pride of [louder]Subject Hometown Here[/louder].
Listens:
8656
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhhhhhhh!
Listens:
7969
Who:
GLaDOS
There you are
Listens:
7686
Who:
Turret
I could take a bath in the stuff. Put it on cereal. Rub it right into my eyes. Honestly, it's not deadly at all. To me.
Listens:
7490
Who:
GLaDOS
*YIPE*
Listens:
7446
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Goodbye.
Listens:
7243
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you trying to escape? [chuckle] Things have changed since the last time you left the building. What's going on out there will make you wish you were back in here.
Listens:
7050
Who:
GLaDOS
It was a morality core they installed after I flooded the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin to make me stop flooding the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin.
Listens:
7003
Who:
GLaDOS
When I said 'deadly' neurotoxin, the 'deadly' was in massive sarcasm quotes.
Listens:
6940
Who:
GLaDOS
It says so right here in your personnel file: Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner who's passing shall not be mourned.
Listens:
6846
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey
Listens:
6405
Who:
Turret
Uh oh. Somebody cut the cake. I told them to wait for you, but they did it anyway. There is still some left, though, if you hurry back.
Listens:
6330
Who:
GLaDOS
You are kidding me.
Listens:
6047
Who:
GLaDOS
Fish shaped candies.
Listens:
6027
Who:
Cake Sphere
The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak.
Listens:
6026
Who:
GLaDOS
Good news: I figured out what that thing that you just burned up did.
Listens:
6025
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it?
Listens:
5892
Who:
GLaDOS
Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill, which may, in semi- rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth.
Listens:
5822
Who:
GLaDOS
I have your brain scanned and permanently backed up in case something terrible happens to you, which it's just about to.
Listens:
5665
Who:
GLaDOS
All your other friends couldn't come either because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikable you are.
Listens:
5634
Who:
GLaDOS
Ooh, that thing has numbers on it!
Listens:
5628
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Target aquired.
Listens:
5623
Who:
Turret
This isn't brave. It's murder. What did I ever do to you?
Listens:
5397
Who:
GLaDOS
Quit now and cake will be served immediately.
Listens:
5307
Who:
GLaDOS
Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman's terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.
Listens:
5284
Who:
GLaDOS
Because despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far is my heart.
Listens:
5078
Who:
GLaDOS
What is THAT?
Listens:
5003
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Good job! As part of a required test protocol, we will stop enhancing the truth in three... Two... One.
Listens:
4889
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! [Surprise]
Listens:
4838
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
4694
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey hey hey!
Listens:
4575
Who:
Turret
*GROWL*
Listens:
4539
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Hey, look at THAT thing! No, that other thing.
Listens:
4489
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Do you smell something burning?
Listens:
4481
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
That thing is probably some kind of raw sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it.
Listens:
4431
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop squirming and die like an adult or I'm going to delete your backup.
Listens:
4341
Who:
GLaDOS
It also says you were adopted. So that's funny, too.
Listens:
4293
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROWL*
Listens:
4279
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Fish shaped crackers.
Listens:
4265
Who:
Cake Sphere
Why...
Listens:
4256
Who:
Turret
Are you coming back?
Listens:
4163
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Hey!
Listens:
4135
Who:
Turret
You don't even care. Do you?
Listens:
4125
Who:
GLaDOS
'Shall not be mourned.' That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official.
Listens:
4052
Who:
GLaDOS
You're still shuffling around a little, but believe me you're dead.
Listens:
3978
Who:
GLaDOS
Who's gonna make the cake when I'm gone? You?
Listens:
3969
Who:
GLaDOS
The Companion Cube cannot continue through the testing. State and Local statutory regulations prohibit it from simply remaining here, alone and companionless. You must euthanize it.
Listens:
3964
Who:
GLaDOS
Candy coated peanut butter pieces. Shaped like fish.
Listens:
3955
Who:
Cake Sphere
Okay. The test is over. You win. Go back to the recovery annex. For your cake.
Listens:
3929
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, we're both stuck in this place. I'll use lasers to inscribe a line down the center of the facility, and one half will be where you live and I'll live in the other half.
Listens:
3928
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you hear me? I said you don't care. Are you listening?
Listens:
3913
Who:
GLaDOS
All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees Kelvin.
Listens:
3869
Who:
GLaDOS
For instance, the floor here will kill you - try to avoid it.
Listens:
3832
Who:
GLaDOS
I sincerely hope you weren't expecting a response. Because I'm not talking to you.
Listens:
3830
Who:
GLaDOS
In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice.
Listens:
3802
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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