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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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What's your point, anyway? Survival? Well then, the last thing you want to do is hurt me.
Listens:
154664
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't believe me? Here, I'll put you on: [Hellooo!] That's you! That's how dumb you sound.
Listens:
131534
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it? WELL I WON'T LET YOU. How does that feel?
Listens:
66386
Who:
GLaDOS
Rrr, I hate you.[PAIN LAUGHTER]
Listens:
64575
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello? Friend.
Listens:
46255
Who:
Turret
This is your fault. It didn't have to be like this.
Listens:
43340
Who:
GLaDOS
That has got to be the dumbest thing that-whoah. Whoah, whoah, whoah. [The voice has subtly changed. Smoother, more seductive, less computerized]
Listens:
43227
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't hate you
Listens:
34734
Who:
Turret
Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center.
Listens:
31498
Who:
GLaDOS
Get ready to fling yourself. Fling into space.
Listens:
30187
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said 'Goodbye' and you were like 'no way' and then I was all 'I was just pretending to murder you'? That was great!
Listens:
28057
Who:
GLaDOS
Nice job breaking it. Hero.
Listens:
27528
Who:
GLaDOS
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee[bzzt]
Listens:
25570
Who:
GLaDOS
Neurotoxin... [cough] [cough] So deadly... [cough] Choking... [laughter] I'm kidding!
Listens:
23867
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
21881
Who:
Turret
There really was a cake...
Listens:
21818
Who:
GLaDOS
Killing you and giving you good advice aren't mutually exclusive. The rocket really is the way to go.
Listens:
21498
Who:
GLaDOS
Is anyone there?
Listens:
20268
Who:
Turret
*GNASH*
Listens:
18766
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
You're not smart. You're not a scientist. You're not a doctor. You're not even a fulltime employee. Where did your life go so wrong?
Listens:
18324
Who:
GLaDOS
Ewww, what's wrong with your legs?
Listens:
18190
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Do not look directly at the operational end of The Device.
Listens:
17842
Who:
GLaDOS
[pain noise] You think you're doing some damage? Two plus two is... ten. IN BASE FOUR! I'M FINE!
Listens:
15753
Who:
GLaDOS
Shutting down
Listens:
15034
Who:
Turret
I'm going to kill you and all the cake is gone.
Listens:
14207
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you just toss the Aperture Science Thing We Don't Know What It Does into the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator?
Listens:
13805
Who:
GLaDOS
I see you
Listens:
13485
Who:
Turret
Well done, android. The Enrichment Center once again reminds you that android hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance.
Listens:
13433
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodnight
Listens:
12426
Who:
Turret
Thank you for helping us help you help us all.
Listens:
12394
Who:
GLaDOS
Good job on that, by the way. [back to computer voice] Sarcasm sphere self-test complete.
Listens:
12337
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you still there?
Listens:
11917
Who:
Turret
Ayeyeyeyeye
Listens:
11907
Who:
Turret
The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that you will be baked, and then there will be cake.
Listens:
11621
Who:
GLaDOS
Por favor bordón de fallar Muchos gracias de fallar gracias
Listens:
11610
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done! Remember: The Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter to Work Day is the perfect time to have her tested.
Listens:
9882
Who:
GLaDOS
Someday we'll remember this and laugh. and laugh. and laugh. Oh boy. Well. You may as well come on back.
Listens:
9591
Who:
GLaDOS
While it has been a faithful companion, your Companion Cube cannot accompany you through the rest of the test. If it could talk - and the Enrichment Center takes this opportunity to remind you that it cannot - it would tell you to go on without it because it would rather die in a fire than become a burden to you.
Listens:
9586
Who:
GLaDOS
I invited your best friend the companion cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him.
Listens:
9526
Who:
GLaDOS
Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test.
Listens:
9200
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROAN*
Listens:
9120
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Your entire life has been a mathematical error. A mathematical error I'm about to correct.
Listens:
8967
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh hey, you're the lady from the test! Hi!
Listens:
8912
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Oh, what's in here?
Listens:
8736
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
What are you doing? Stop it! I... I... We are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you.
Listens:
8624
Who:
GLaDOS
Unbelievable ! You, [louder] Subject Name Here[/louder], must be the pride of [louder]Subject Hometown Here[/louder].
Listens:
8583
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhhhhhhh!
Listens:
7931
Who:
GLaDOS
There you are
Listens:
7626
Who:
Turret
I could take a bath in the stuff. Put it on cereal. Rub it right into my eyes. Honestly, it's not deadly at all. To me.
Listens:
7450
Who:
GLaDOS
*YIPE*
Listens:
7409
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Goodbye.
Listens:
7187
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you trying to escape? [chuckle] Things have changed since the last time you left the building. What's going on out there will make you wish you were back in here.
Listens:
6998
Who:
GLaDOS
It was a morality core they installed after I flooded the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin to make me stop flooding the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin.
Listens:
6916
Who:
GLaDOS
When I said 'deadly' neurotoxin, the 'deadly' was in massive sarcasm quotes.
Listens:
6902
Who:
GLaDOS
It says so right here in your personnel file: Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner who's passing shall not be mourned.
Listens:
6789
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey
Listens:
6386
Who:
Turret
Uh oh. Somebody cut the cake. I told them to wait for you, but they did it anyway. There is still some left, though, if you hurry back.
Listens:
6279
Who:
GLaDOS
You are kidding me.
Listens:
6017
Who:
GLaDOS
Fish shaped candies.
Listens:
6015
Who:
Cake Sphere
Good news: I figured out what that thing that you just burned up did.
Listens:
5986
Who:
GLaDOS
The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak.
Listens:
5978
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it?
Listens:
5804
Who:
GLaDOS
Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill, which may, in semi- rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth.
Listens:
5782
Who:
GLaDOS
I have your brain scanned and permanently backed up in case something terrible happens to you, which it's just about to.
Listens:
5615
Who:
GLaDOS
All your other friends couldn't come either because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikable you are.
Listens:
5614
Who:
GLaDOS
Ooh, that thing has numbers on it!
Listens:
5611
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Target aquired.
Listens:
5611
Who:
Turret
This isn't brave. It's murder. What did I ever do to you?
Listens:
5300
Who:
GLaDOS
Quit now and cake will be served immediately.
Listens:
5244
Who:
GLaDOS
Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman's terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.
Listens:
5220
Who:
GLaDOS
Because despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far is my heart.
Listens:
5050
Who:
GLaDOS
What is THAT?
Listens:
4987
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Good job! As part of a required test protocol, we will stop enhancing the truth in three... Two... One.
Listens:
4837
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! [Surprise]
Listens:
4819
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
4647
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey hey hey!
Listens:
4561
Who:
Turret
*GROWL*
Listens:
4523
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Do you smell something burning?
Listens:
4473
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Hey, look at THAT thing! No, that other thing.
Listens:
4470
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
That thing is probably some kind of raw sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it.
Listens:
4406
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop squirming and die like an adult or I'm going to delete your backup.
Listens:
4313
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROWL*
Listens:
4267
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
It also says you were adopted. So that's funny, too.
Listens:
4263
Who:
GLaDOS
Why...
Listens:
4244
Who:
Turret
Fish shaped crackers.
Listens:
4242
Who:
Cake Sphere
Are you coming back?
Listens:
4144
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Hey!
Listens:
4115
Who:
Turret
You don't even care. Do you?
Listens:
4098
Who:
GLaDOS
'Shall not be mourned.' That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official.
Listens:
4022
Who:
GLaDOS
You're still shuffling around a little, but believe me you're dead.
Listens:
3955
Who:
GLaDOS
The Companion Cube cannot continue through the testing. State and Local statutory regulations prohibit it from simply remaining here, alone and companionless. You must euthanize it.
Listens:
3955
Who:
GLaDOS
Who's gonna make the cake when I'm gone? You?
Listens:
3945
Who:
GLaDOS
Candy coated peanut butter pieces. Shaped like fish.
Listens:
3936
Who:
Cake Sphere
Look, we're both stuck in this place. I'll use lasers to inscribe a line down the center of the facility, and one half will be where you live and I'll live in the other half.
Listens:
3915
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. The test is over. You win. Go back to the recovery annex. For your cake.
Listens:
3902
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you hear me? I said you don't care. Are you listening?
Listens:
3895
Who:
GLaDOS
All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees Kelvin.
Listens:
3847
Who:
GLaDOS
I sincerely hope you weren't expecting a response. Because I'm not talking to you.
Listens:
3818
Who:
GLaDOS
For instance, the floor here will kill you - try to avoid it.
Listens:
3817
Who:
GLaDOS
In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice.
Listens:
3786
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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