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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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What's your point, anyway? Survival? Well then, the last thing you want to do is hurt me.
Listens:
154724
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't believe me? Here, I'll put you on: [Hellooo!] That's you! That's how dumb you sound.
Listens:
131587
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it? WELL I WON'T LET YOU. How does that feel?
Listens:
66415
Who:
GLaDOS
Rrr, I hate you.[PAIN LAUGHTER]
Listens:
64607
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello? Friend.
Listens:
46278
Who:
Turret
This is your fault. It didn't have to be like this.
Listens:
43357
Who:
GLaDOS
That has got to be the dumbest thing that-whoah. Whoah, whoah, whoah. [The voice has subtly changed. Smoother, more seductive, less computerized]
Listens:
43254
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't hate you
Listens:
34754
Who:
Turret
Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center.
Listens:
31529
Who:
GLaDOS
Get ready to fling yourself. Fling into space.
Listens:
30199
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said 'Goodbye' and you were like 'no way' and then I was all 'I was just pretending to murder you'? That was great!
Listens:
28072
Who:
GLaDOS
Nice job breaking it. Hero.
Listens:
27548
Who:
GLaDOS
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee[bzzt]
Listens:
25590
Who:
GLaDOS
Neurotoxin... [cough] [cough] So deadly... [cough] Choking... [laughter] I'm kidding!
Listens:
23882
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
21892
Who:
Turret
There really was a cake...
Listens:
21837
Who:
GLaDOS
Killing you and giving you good advice aren't mutually exclusive. The rocket really is the way to go.
Listens:
21528
Who:
GLaDOS
Is anyone there?
Listens:
20285
Who:
Turret
*GNASH*
Listens:
18785
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
You're not smart. You're not a scientist. You're not a doctor. You're not even a fulltime employee. Where did your life go so wrong?
Listens:
18343
Who:
GLaDOS
Ewww, what's wrong with your legs?
Listens:
18199
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Do not look directly at the operational end of The Device.
Listens:
17862
Who:
GLaDOS
[pain noise] You think you're doing some damage? Two plus two is... ten. IN BASE FOUR! I'M FINE!
Listens:
15781
Who:
GLaDOS
Shutting down
Listens:
15043
Who:
Turret
I'm going to kill you and all the cake is gone.
Listens:
14222
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you just toss the Aperture Science Thing We Don't Know What It Does into the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator?
Listens:
13822
Who:
GLaDOS
I see you
Listens:
13494
Who:
Turret
Well done, android. The Enrichment Center once again reminds you that android hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance.
Listens:
13454
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodnight
Listens:
12438
Who:
Turret
Thank you for helping us help you help us all.
Listens:
12429
Who:
GLaDOS
Good job on that, by the way. [back to computer voice] Sarcasm sphere self-test complete.
Listens:
12346
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you still there?
Listens:
11926
Who:
Turret
Ayeyeyeyeye
Listens:
11918
Who:
Turret
The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that you will be baked, and then there will be cake.
Listens:
11639
Who:
GLaDOS
Por favor bordón de fallar Muchos gracias de fallar gracias
Listens:
11638
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done! Remember: The Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter to Work Day is the perfect time to have her tested.
Listens:
9891
Who:
GLaDOS
Someday we'll remember this and laugh. and laugh. and laugh. Oh boy. Well. You may as well come on back.
Listens:
9604
Who:
GLaDOS
While it has been a faithful companion, your Companion Cube cannot accompany you through the rest of the test. If it could talk - and the Enrichment Center takes this opportunity to remind you that it cannot - it would tell you to go on without it because it would rather die in a fire than become a burden to you.
Listens:
9599
Who:
GLaDOS
I invited your best friend the companion cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him.
Listens:
9533
Who:
GLaDOS
Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test.
Listens:
9206
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROAN*
Listens:
9133
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Your entire life has been a mathematical error. A mathematical error I'm about to correct.
Listens:
8973
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh hey, you're the lady from the test! Hi!
Listens:
8914
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Oh, what's in here?
Listens:
8738
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
What are you doing? Stop it! I... I... We are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you.
Listens:
8640
Who:
GLaDOS
Unbelievable ! You, [louder] Subject Name Here[/louder], must be the pride of [louder]Subject Hometown Here[/louder].
Listens:
8593
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhhhhhhh!
Listens:
7943
Who:
GLaDOS
There you are
Listens:
7636
Who:
Turret
I could take a bath in the stuff. Put it on cereal. Rub it right into my eyes. Honestly, it's not deadly at all. To me.
Listens:
7456
Who:
GLaDOS
*YIPE*
Listens:
7422
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Goodbye.
Listens:
7208
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you trying to escape? [chuckle] Things have changed since the last time you left the building. What's going on out there will make you wish you were back in here.
Listens:
7005
Who:
GLaDOS
It was a morality core they installed after I flooded the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin to make me stop flooding the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin.
Listens:
6935
Who:
GLaDOS
When I said 'deadly' neurotoxin, the 'deadly' was in massive sarcasm quotes.
Listens:
6906
Who:
GLaDOS
It says so right here in your personnel file: Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner who's passing shall not be mourned.
Listens:
6806
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey
Listens:
6390
Who:
Turret
Uh oh. Somebody cut the cake. I told them to wait for you, but they did it anyway. There is still some left, though, if you hurry back.
Listens:
6287
Who:
GLaDOS
You are kidding me.
Listens:
6023
Who:
GLaDOS
Fish shaped candies.
Listens:
6017
Who:
Cake Sphere
Good news: I figured out what that thing that you just burned up did.
Listens:
5997
Who:
GLaDOS
The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak.
Listens:
5987
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it?
Listens:
5811
Who:
GLaDOS
Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill, which may, in semi- rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth.
Listens:
5789
Who:
GLaDOS
I have your brain scanned and permanently backed up in case something terrible happens to you, which it's just about to.
Listens:
5621
Who:
GLaDOS
All your other friends couldn't come either because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikable you are.
Listens:
5617
Who:
GLaDOS
Ooh, that thing has numbers on it!
Listens:
5612
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Target aquired.
Listens:
5612
Who:
Turret
This isn't brave. It's murder. What did I ever do to you?
Listens:
5303
Who:
GLaDOS
Quit now and cake will be served immediately.
Listens:
5249
Who:
GLaDOS
Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman's terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.
Listens:
5233
Who:
GLaDOS
Because despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far is my heart.
Listens:
5054
Who:
GLaDOS
What is THAT?
Listens:
4989
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Good job! As part of a required test protocol, we will stop enhancing the truth in three... Two... One.
Listens:
4847
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! [Surprise]
Listens:
4822
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
4654
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey hey hey!
Listens:
4565
Who:
Turret
*GROWL*
Listens:
4528
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Hey, look at THAT thing! No, that other thing.
Listens:
4479
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Do you smell something burning?
Listens:
4475
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
That thing is probably some kind of raw sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it.
Listens:
4407
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop squirming and die like an adult or I'm going to delete your backup.
Listens:
4321
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROWL*
Listens:
4268
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
It also says you were adopted. So that's funny, too.
Listens:
4268
Who:
GLaDOS
Why...
Listens:
4246
Who:
Turret
Fish shaped crackers.
Listens:
4244
Who:
Cake Sphere
Are you coming back?
Listens:
4151
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Hey!
Listens:
4116
Who:
Turret
You don't even care. Do you?
Listens:
4101
Who:
GLaDOS
'Shall not be mourned.' That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official.
Listens:
4026
Who:
GLaDOS
The Companion Cube cannot continue through the testing. State and Local statutory regulations prohibit it from simply remaining here, alone and companionless. You must euthanize it.
Listens:
3958
Who:
GLaDOS
You're still shuffling around a little, but believe me you're dead.
Listens:
3955
Who:
GLaDOS
Who's gonna make the cake when I'm gone? You?
Listens:
3947
Who:
GLaDOS
Candy coated peanut butter pieces. Shaped like fish.
Listens:
3940
Who:
Cake Sphere
Look, we're both stuck in this place. I'll use lasers to inscribe a line down the center of the facility, and one half will be where you live and I'll live in the other half.
Listens:
3919
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. The test is over. You win. Go back to the recovery annex. For your cake.
Listens:
3905
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you hear me? I said you don't care. Are you listening?
Listens:
3898
Who:
GLaDOS
All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees Kelvin.
Listens:
3849
Who:
GLaDOS
I sincerely hope you weren't expecting a response. Because I'm not talking to you.
Listens:
3820
Who:
GLaDOS
For instance, the floor here will kill you - try to avoid it.
Listens:
3819
Who:
GLaDOS
In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice.
Listens:
3789
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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