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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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What's your point, anyway? Survival? Well then, the last thing you want to do is hurt me.
Listens:
153899
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't believe me? Here, I'll put you on: [Hellooo!] That's you! That's how dumb you sound.
Listens:
130724
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it? WELL I WON'T LET YOU. How does that feel?
Listens:
66087
Who:
GLaDOS
Rrr, I hate you.[PAIN LAUGHTER]
Listens:
64191
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello? Friend.
Listens:
45774
Who:
Turret
This is your fault. It didn't have to be like this.
Listens:
43131
Who:
GLaDOS
That has got to be the dumbest thing that-whoah. Whoah, whoah, whoah. [The voice has subtly changed. Smoother, more seductive, less computerized]
Listens:
42843
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't hate you
Listens:
34496
Who:
Turret
Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center.
Listens:
31104
Who:
GLaDOS
Get ready to fling yourself. Fling into space.
Listens:
29932
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said 'Goodbye' and you were like 'no way' and then I was all 'I was just pretending to murder you'? That was great!
Listens:
27755
Who:
GLaDOS
Nice job breaking it. Hero.
Listens:
27329
Who:
GLaDOS
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee[bzzt]
Listens:
25292
Who:
GLaDOS
Neurotoxin... [cough] [cough] So deadly... [cough] Choking... [laughter] I'm kidding!
Listens:
23592
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
21698
Who:
Turret
There really was a cake...
Listens:
21572
Who:
GLaDOS
Killing you and giving you good advice aren't mutually exclusive. The rocket really is the way to go.
Listens:
21312
Who:
GLaDOS
Is anyone there?
Listens:
20087
Who:
Turret
*GNASH*
Listens:
18583
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Ewww, what's wrong with your legs?
Listens:
18066
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
You're not smart. You're not a scientist. You're not a doctor. You're not even a fulltime employee. Where did your life go so wrong?
Listens:
18003
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not look directly at the operational end of The Device.
Listens:
17702
Who:
GLaDOS
[pain noise] You think you're doing some damage? Two plus two is... ten. IN BASE FOUR! I'M FINE!
Listens:
15560
Who:
GLaDOS
Shutting down
Listens:
14853
Who:
Turret
I'm going to kill you and all the cake is gone.
Listens:
14069
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you just toss the Aperture Science Thing We Don't Know What It Does into the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator?
Listens:
13622
Who:
GLaDOS
I see you
Listens:
13358
Who:
Turret
Well done, android. The Enrichment Center once again reminds you that android hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance.
Listens:
13114
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodnight
Listens:
12320
Who:
Turret
Good job on that, by the way. [back to computer voice] Sarcasm sphere self-test complete.
Listens:
12236
Who:
GLaDOS
Thank you for helping us help you help us all.
Listens:
12094
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you still there?
Listens:
11819
Who:
Turret
Ayeyeyeyeye
Listens:
11790
Who:
Turret
Por favor bordón de fallar Muchos gracias de fallar gracias
Listens:
11433
Who:
GLaDOS
The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that you will be baked, and then there will be cake.
Listens:
11351
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done! Remember: The Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter to Work Day is the perfect time to have her tested.
Listens:
9776
Who:
GLaDOS
While it has been a faithful companion, your Companion Cube cannot accompany you through the rest of the test. If it could talk - and the Enrichment Center takes this opportunity to remind you that it cannot - it would tell you to go on without it because it would rather die in a fire than become a burden to you.
Listens:
9515
Who:
GLaDOS
I invited your best friend the companion cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him.
Listens:
9438
Who:
GLaDOS
Someday we'll remember this and laugh. and laugh. and laugh. Oh boy. Well. You may as well come on back.
Listens:
9394
Who:
GLaDOS
Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test.
Listens:
9094
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROAN*
Listens:
9014
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Oh hey, you're the lady from the test! Hi!
Listens:
8863
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Your entire life has been a mathematical error. A mathematical error I'm about to correct.
Listens:
8860
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, what's in here?
Listens:
8697
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
What are you doing? Stop it! I... I... We are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you.
Listens:
8404
Who:
GLaDOS
Unbelievable ! You, [louder] Subject Name Here[/louder], must be the pride of [louder]Subject Hometown Here[/louder].
Listens:
8401
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhhhhhhh!
Listens:
7854
Who:
GLaDOS
There you are
Listens:
7524
Who:
Turret
I could take a bath in the stuff. Put it on cereal. Rub it right into my eyes. Honestly, it's not deadly at all. To me.
Listens:
7349
Who:
GLaDOS
*YIPE*
Listens:
7302
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Goodbye.
Listens:
7016
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you trying to escape? [chuckle] Things have changed since the last time you left the building. What's going on out there will make you wish you were back in here.
Listens:
6903
Who:
GLaDOS
When I said 'deadly' neurotoxin, the 'deadly' was in massive sarcasm quotes.
Listens:
6813
Who:
GLaDOS
It was a morality core they installed after I flooded the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin to make me stop flooding the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin.
Listens:
6750
Who:
GLaDOS
It says so right here in your personnel file: Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner who's passing shall not be mourned.
Listens:
6664
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey
Listens:
6330
Who:
Turret
Uh oh. Somebody cut the cake. I told them to wait for you, but they did it anyway. There is still some left, though, if you hurry back.
Listens:
6186
Who:
GLaDOS
Fish shaped candies.
Listens:
5968
Who:
Cake Sphere
You are kidding me.
Listens:
5933
Who:
GLaDOS
Good news: I figured out what that thing that you just burned up did.
Listens:
5867
Who:
GLaDOS
The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak.
Listens:
5845
Who:
GLaDOS
Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill, which may, in semi- rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth.
Listens:
5675
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it?
Listens:
5627
Who:
GLaDOS
Ooh, that thing has numbers on it!
Listens:
5573
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
All your other friends couldn't come either because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikable you are.
Listens:
5547
Who:
GLaDOS
Target aquired.
Listens:
5538
Who:
Turret
I have your brain scanned and permanently backed up in case something terrible happens to you, which it's just about to.
Listens:
5487
Who:
GLaDOS
This isn't brave. It's murder. What did I ever do to you?
Listens:
5193
Who:
GLaDOS
Quit now and cake will be served immediately.
Listens:
5147
Who:
GLaDOS
Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman's terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.
Listens:
5075
Who:
GLaDOS
What is THAT?
Listens:
4949
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Because despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far is my heart.
Listens:
4941
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! [Surprise]
Listens:
4777
Who:
GLaDOS
Good job! As part of a required test protocol, we will stop enhancing the truth in three... Two... One.
Listens:
4753
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey hey hey!
Listens:
4526
Who:
Turret
Hello?
Listens:
4521
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROWL*
Listens:
4480
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Do you smell something burning?
Listens:
4428
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Hey, look at THAT thing! No, that other thing.
Listens:
4426
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
That thing is probably some kind of raw sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it.
Listens:
4338
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop squirming and die like an adult or I'm going to delete your backup.
Listens:
4244
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROWL*
Listens:
4215
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Fish shaped crackers.
Listens:
4201
Who:
Cake Sphere
It also says you were adopted. So that's funny, too.
Listens:
4200
Who:
GLaDOS
Why...
Listens:
4189
Who:
Turret
Are you coming back?
Listens:
4103
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Hey!
Listens:
4073
Who:
Turret
You don't even care. Do you?
Listens:
4026
Who:
GLaDOS
'Shall not be mourned.' That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official.
Listens:
3951
Who:
GLaDOS
Who's gonna make the cake when I'm gone? You?
Listens:
3915
Who:
GLaDOS
The Companion Cube cannot continue through the testing. State and Local statutory regulations prohibit it from simply remaining here, alone and companionless. You must euthanize it.
Listens:
3912
Who:
GLaDOS
Candy coated peanut butter pieces. Shaped like fish.
Listens:
3904
Who:
Cake Sphere
You're still shuffling around a little, but believe me you're dead.
Listens:
3900
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, we're both stuck in this place. I'll use lasers to inscribe a line down the center of the facility, and one half will be where you live and I'll live in the other half.
Listens:
3876
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. The test is over. You win. Go back to the recovery annex. For your cake.
Listens:
3853
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you hear me? I said you don't care. Are you listening?
Listens:
3849
Who:
GLaDOS
All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees Kelvin.
Listens:
3786
Who:
GLaDOS
I sincerely hope you weren't expecting a response. Because I'm not talking to you.
Listens:
3781
Who:
GLaDOS
For instance, the floor here will kill you - try to avoid it.
Listens:
3759
Who:
GLaDOS
In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice.
Listens:
3741
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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