Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
It was a fun test and we're all impressed at how much you won. The test is over. Come back.
Listens:
560
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't blame you
Listens:
962
Who:
Turret
If you become light headed from thirst, feel free to pass out.
Listens:
514
Who:
GLaDOS
Sentry mode activated
Listens:
994
Who:
Turret
*GROWL*
Listens:
955
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Sorry
Listens:
872
Who:
Turret
Oh, what's that?
Listens:
1160
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Please place the Weighted Storage Cube on the Fifteen Hundred Megawatt Aperture Science Heavy Duty Super-Colliding Super Button.
Listens:
954
Who:
GLaDOS
That thing you burned up isn't important to me. It's the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It made shoes for orphans.
Listens:
1089
Who:
GLaDOS
Due to mandatory scheduled maintenance, the appropriate chamber for this testing sequence is currently unavailable.
Listens:
487
Who:
GLaDOS
The Device, however, has not.
Listens:
567
Who:
GLaDOS
One can prepared coconut pecan frosting.
Listens:
359
Who:
Cake Sphere
It's not too late to turn back.
Listens:
382
Who:
GLaDOS
*GRUNT*
Listens:
803
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
*GROWL*
Listens:
1247
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
The symptoms most commonly produced by Enrichment Center testing are superstition, perceiving inanimate objects as alive, and hallucinations.
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
Testing cannot continue until your Companion Cube has been incinerated.
Listens:
671
Who:
GLaDOS
What is that?
Listens:
1276
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Goodbye
Listens:
1610
Who:
Turret
I don't want to tell you you're business, but if it were me, I'd leave that thing alone.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Who's gonna make the cake when I'm gone? You?
Listens:
3590
Who:
GLaDOS
Have I lied to you? I mean in this room. Trust me, leave that thing alone.
Listens:
926
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, we're even now. You can stop.
Listens:
705
Who:
GLaDOS
[pain sound]
Listens:
1286
Who:
GLaDOS
*GNASH*
Listens:
17135
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Preparing to dispense product
Listens:
626
Who:
Turret
All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees Kelvin.
Listens:
3448
Who:
GLaDOS
You're not a good person. You know that, right?
Listens:
1941
Who:
GLaDOS
I have your brain scanned and permanently backed up in case something terrible happens to you, which it's just about to.
Listens:
4679
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. Now use the Aperture Science Unstationary Scaffold to reach the chamberlock.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not submerge The Device in liquid, even partially.
Listens:
910
Who:
GLaDOS
*ROAR*
Listens:
769
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
*HISS*
Listens:
699
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
That thing you're attacking isn't important to me. It's the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It makes shoes for orphans.
Listens:
381
Who:
GLaDOS
Thank you for participating in this Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment activity.
Listens:
1897
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROWL*
Listens:
4113
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Well done, android. The Enrichment Center once again reminds you that android hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance.
Listens:
11179
Who:
GLaDOS
One cup granulated sugar.
Listens:
343
Who:
Cake Sphere
Well, you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it?
Listens:
4992
Who:
GLaDOS
A replacement Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube will be delivered shortly.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
Sleep mode activated
Listens:
1532
Who:
Turret
We won't have to try to kill each other or even talk if we don't feel like it.
Listens:
515
Who:
GLaDOS
Alpha resins.
Listens:
643
Who:
Cake Sphere
As part of a required test protocol, our previous statement suggesting that we would not monitor this chamber was an outright fabrication.
Listens:
668
Who:
GLaDOS
Dispensing product
Listens:
924
Who:
Turret
Welcome to the final test!
Listens:
687
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you even listening to me?
Listens:
574
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey
Listens:
5876
Who:
Turret
*HISS*
Listens:
1075
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
The Enrichment Center apologizes for the inconvenience and wishes you the best of luck.
Listens:
342
Who:
GLaDOS
Can I help you?
Listens:
627
Who:
Turret
*PANT*
Listens:
852
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Activated
Listens:
674
Who:
Turret
At the Enrichment Center we promise never to value your safety above your unique ideas and creativity. However, do not destroy vital testing apparatus.
Listens:
563
Who:
GLaDOS
Get ready to fling yourself. Fling into space.
Listens:
28502
Who:
GLaDOS
One teaspoon grated orange rhubarb.
Listens:
343
Who:
Cake Sphere
And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals.
Listens:
460
Who:
Cake Sphere
Maybe you think you're helping yourself. But you're not. This isn't helping anyone.
Listens:
610
Who:
GLaDOS
The part of you that could have survived indefinitely is gone. I just struck you from the permanent record.
Listens:
574
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh hey, you're the lady from the test! Hi!
Listens:
8350
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Place the device on the ground then lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides.
Listens:
438
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello!
Listens:
20333
Who:
Turret
Frankly, this chamber was a mistake. If we were you, we would quit now.
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
Despite the best efforts of the Enrichment Center staff to ensure the safe performance of all authorized activities, you have managed to ensnare yourself permanently inside this room.
Listens:
770
Who:
GLaDOS
Once again, excellent work.
Listens:
347
Who:
GLaDOS
What's that?
Listens:
1078
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
That thing is probably some kind of raw sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it.
Listens:
3827
Who:
GLaDOS
Place your Companion Cube in the incinerator.
Listens:
828
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello? Friend.
Listens:
42841
Who:
Turret
Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman's terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.
Listens:
4277
Who:
GLaDOS
When you are done, you will drop the Device in the equipment recovery annex...
Listens:
359
Who:
GLaDOS
Where are we going?
Listens:
839
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Nine large egg yolks.
Listens:
415
Who:
Cake Sphere
In the event that the weighted companion cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice.
Listens:
1203
Who:
GLaDOS
However, it cannot accompany you for the rest of the test and, unfortunately, must be euthanized.
Listens:
343
Who:
GLaDOS
Where are you taking that thing?
Listens:
367
Who:
GLaDOS
*ROAR*
Listens:
1824
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Unfortunately, as much as I'd love to now, I can't get the neurotoxin into your head any faster.
Listens:
881
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not look directly at the operational end of The Device.
Listens:
16575
Who:
GLaDOS
Most importantly, under no circumstances should you remove the device from the testing area.
Listens:
1152
Who:
GLaDOS
[DEATH SCREAM]
Listens:
3090
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Ooh, that thing has numbers on it!
Listens:
5197
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Are you coming back?
Listens:
3843
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Injector needle gun.
Listens:
495
Who:
Cake Sphere
Fiberglass surface resins.
Listens:
355
Who:
Cake Sphere
Can you hear me?
Listens:
459
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROWL*
Listens:
903
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Look, we're both stuck in this place. I'll use lasers to inscribe a line down the center of the facility, and one half will be where you live and I'll live in the other half.
Listens:
3492
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry, we're closed
Listens:
1244
Who:
Turret
Three slash four cup vegetable oil.
Listens:
343
Who:
Cake Sphere
This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grid will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it - for instance, the Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube.
Listens:
816
Who:
GLaDOS
What was that? Did you say something?
Listens:
463
Who:
GLaDOS
The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent. Please proceed into the chamberlock after completing each test.
Listens:
496
Who:
GLaDOS
And volatile malted milk impoundments.
Listens:
376
Who:
Cake Sphere
As part of a required test protocol, we will not monitor the next test chamber. You will be entirely on your own. Good luck.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
One large rhubarb.
Listens:
567
Who:
Cake Sphere
Neurotoxin... [cough] [cough] So deadly... [cough] Choking... [laughter] I'm kidding!
Listens:
21516
Who:
GLaDOS
All I know is I'm the only thing standing between us and them. Well, I was.
Listens:
1371
Who:
GLaDOS
Help!
Listens:
657
Who:
Turret
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
