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Portal 2
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In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice.
Listens:
3594
Who:
GLaDOS
Nap time
Listens:
2181
Who:
Turret
Do you smell something burning?
Listens:
4264
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
*SNARL*
Listens:
839
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
There really was a cake...
Listens:
20614
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent. Please proceed into the chamberlock after completing each test.
Listens:
581
Who:
GLaDOS
The Enrichment Center regrets to inform you that this next test is impossible.
Listens:
995
Who:
GLaDOS
It was a fun test and we're all impressed at how much you won. The test is over. Come back.
Listens:
585
Who:
GLaDOS
You've been wrong about every single thing you've ever done, including this thing.
Listens:
1111
Who:
GLaDOS
Leave. It. alone.
Listens:
597
Who:
GLaDOS
Injector needle gun.
Listens:
553
Who:
Cake Sphere
Hey
Listens:
6121
Who:
Turret
Hello?
Listens:
4158
Who:
GLaDOS
Alalalawl
Listens:
1679
Who:
Turret
Hello again. To reiterate our previous warning, this test requires a mastery of the principles of portal momentum.
Listens:
2630
Who:
GLaDOS
The Device has been modified so that it can now manufacture two linked portals at once.
Listens:
528
Who:
GLaDOS
Fish shaped candies.
Listens:
5741
Who:
Cake Sphere
The part of you that could have survived indefinitely is gone. I just struck you from the permanent record.
Listens:
609
Who:
GLaDOS
Despite the best efforts of the Enrichment Center staff to ensure the safe performance of all authorized activities, you have managed to ensnare yourself permanently inside this room.
Listens:
807
Who:
GLaDOS
As part of an optional test protocol, we are pleased to present an amusing fact:
Listens:
486
Who:
GLaDOS
I wouldn't bother with that thing. My guess is that touching it will just make your life even worse somehow.
Listens:
409
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome to the final test!
Listens:
714
Who:
GLaDOS
Cordless electric needle injector.
Listens:
382
Who:
Cake Sphere
You on the other hand, are going to find its deadliness a lot less funny.
Listens:
669
Who:
GLaDOS
Excuse me
Listens:
756
Who:
Turret
Who's gonna make the cake when I'm gone? You?
Listens:
3753
Who:
GLaDOS
I sincerely hope you weren't expecting a response. Because I'm not talking to you.
Listens:
3592
Who:
GLaDOS
Lawl
Listens:
1638
Who:
Turret
Por favor bordón de fallar Muchos gracias de fallar gracias
Listens:
10777
Who:
GLaDOS
You're not smart. You're not a scientist. You're not a doctor. You're not even a fulltime employee. Where did your life go so wrong?
Listens:
16827
Who:
GLaDOS
The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube cannot speak.
Listens:
620
Who:
GLaDOS
You're not going the right way.
Listens:
596
Who:
GLaDOS
Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an 'unsatisfactory' mark on your official testing record followed by death. Good luck!
Listens:
1623
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you could settle for that and we'll just call it a day.
Listens:
520
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop! The device will detonate if removed from the testing area.
Listens:
523
Who:
GLaDOS
Testing cannot continue until your Companion Cube has been incinerated.
Listens:
704
Who:
GLaDOS
This is your fault. It didn't have to be like this.
Listens:
42415
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROWL*
Listens:
1318
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Rrr, I hate you.[PAIN LAUGHTER]
Listens:
62719
Who:
GLaDOS
All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees Kelvin.
Listens:
3600
Who:
GLaDOS
No hard fealings
Listens:
1288
Who:
Turret
Fiberglass surface resins.
Listens:
371
Who:
Cake Sphere
That's it. I'm done reasoning with you.
Listens:
630
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodbye.
Listens:
6579
Who:
GLaDOS
The Device is now more valuable than the organs and combined incomes of everyone in [subject hometown here].
Listens:
864
Who:
GLaDOS
I have your brain scanned and permanently backed up in case something terrible happens to you, which it's just about to.
Listens:
5023
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, we're both stuck in this place. I'll use lasers to inscribe a line down the center of the facility, and one half will be where you live and I'll live in the other half.
Listens:
3715
Who:
GLaDOS
What is that?
Listens:
1360
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Uhoh
Listens:
975
Who:
Turret
Please be careful.
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
You're going to find out first hand before I'd finish explaining it, though, so I won't bother.
Listens:
462
Who:
GLaDOS
Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test.
Listens:
8750
Who:
GLaDOS
Incinerate your Companion Cube.
Listens:
593
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop shooting!
Listens:
936
Who:
Turret
You euthanized your faithful Companion Cube more quickly than any test subject on record. Congratulations.
Listens:
1898
Who:
GLaDOS
Audible warning devices are required on all mobile equipment. However, alarms and flashing hazard lights have been found to agitate the high energy pellet and have therefore been disabled for your safety.
Listens:
775
Who:
GLaDOS
I feel sorry for you, really, because you're not even in the right place.
Listens:
527
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry, we're closed
Listens:
1315
Who:
Turret
Hey! It's me!
Listens:
1123
Who:
Turret
Awwww
Listens:
1124
Who:
Turret
Candy coated peanut butter pieces. Shaped like fish.
Listens:
3766
Who:
Cake Sphere
When you are done, you will drop the Device in the equipment recovery annex...
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
For your own safety, do not destroy vital testing apparatus.
Listens:
1265
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't forget garnishes such as:
Listens:
407
Who:
Cake Sphere
Let's be honest: Neither one of us knows what that thing does. Just put it in the corner, and I'll deal with it later.
Listens:
476
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not look directly at the operational end of The Device.
Listens:
17100
Who:
GLaDOS
A replacement Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube will be delivered shortly.
Listens:
369
Who:
GLaDOS
Can you hear me?
Listens:
487
Who:
GLaDOS
Because despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far is my heart.
Listens:
4553
Who:
GLaDOS
Get ready to fling yourself. Fling into space.
Listens:
29152
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
1993
Who:
Turret
I see you
Listens:
12991
Who:
Turret
Who's there?
Listens:
735
Who:
Turret
The difference between us is that I can feel pain.
Listens:
1181
Who:
GLaDOS
Could you come over here?
Listens:
1205
Who:
Turret
You can't hurt me.
Listens:
445
Who:
GLaDOS
These intra dimensional gates have proven to be completely safe.
Listens:
391
Who:
GLaDOS
All right, keep doing whatever it is you think you're doing.
Listens:
1299
Who:
GLaDOS
A party associate will arrive shortly to collect you for your party.
Listens:
596
Who:
GLaDOS
An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands.'
Listens:
1331
Who:
Cake Sphere
*ROAR*
Listens:
805
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Malfunctioning
Listens:
664
Who:
Turret
And volatile malted milk impoundments.
Listens:
397
Who:
Cake Sphere
Ohh!
Listens:
1778
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, I'm gonna kill you.
Listens:
1146
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you trying to escape? [chuckle] Things have changed since the last time you left the building. What's going on out there will make you wish you were back in here.
Listens:
6562
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm going to kill you and all the cake is gone.
Listens:
13401
Who:
GLaDOS
Preparing to dispense product
Listens:
668
Who:
Turret
You're still shuffling around a little, but believe me you're dead.
Listens:
3695
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations! The test is now over.
Listens:
1814
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it?
Listens:
5235
Who:
GLaDOS
What was that? Did you say something?
Listens:
499
Who:
GLaDOS
This isn't brave. It's murder. What did I ever do to you?
Listens:
4824
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't believe me? Here, I'll put you on: [Hellooo!] That's you! That's how dumb you sound.
Listens:
128173
Who:
GLaDOS
Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman's terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.
Listens:
4591
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh well. If you want my advice, you should just lie down in front of a rocket. Trust me, it'll be a lot less painful than the neurotoxin.
Listens:
990
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
1907
Who:
GLaDOS
Target aquired.
Listens:
5359
Who:
Turret
*PANT*
Listens:
902
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Two cups all purpose flower.
Listens:
366
Who:
Cake Sphere
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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