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Portal 2
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Resting
Listens:
713
Who:
Turret
Please be careful.
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
Think about it: If that thing is important, why don't I know about it?
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
What is THAT?
Listens:
4949
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
The symptoms most commonly produced by Enrichment Center testing are superstition, perceiving inanimate objects as alive, and hallucinations.
Listens:
491
Who:
GLaDOS
Most importantly, under no circumstances should you remove the device from the testing area.
Listens:
1267
Who:
GLaDOS
This isn't brave. It's murder. What did I ever do to you?
Listens:
648
Who:
GLaDOS
Rrr, I hate you.[PAIN LAUGHTER]
Listens:
64194
Who:
GLaDOS
Once again, the Enrichment Center offers its most sincere apologies on the occasion of this unsolvable test environment.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
I have an infinite capacity for knowledge, and even I'm not sure what's going on outside.
Listens:
3235
Who:
GLaDOS
The difference between us is that I can feel pain.
Listens:
1289
Who:
GLaDOS
Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper.
Listens:
1318
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you trying to escape? [chuckle] Things have changed since the last time you left the building. What's going on out there will make you wish you were back in here.
Listens:
6904
Who:
GLaDOS
That thing you burned up isn't important to me. It's the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It made shoes for orphans.
Listens:
1386
Who:
GLaDOS
The part of you that could have survived indefinitely is gone. I just struck you from the permanent record.
Listens:
647
Who:
GLaDOS
*HISS*
Listens:
2159
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
A replacement Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube will be delivered shortly.
Listens:
397
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm not angry. Just go back to the testing area.
Listens:
637
Who:
GLaDOS
The Enrichment Center apologizes for this clearly broken test chamber.
Listens:
408
Who:
GLaDOS
The talking is over.
Listens:
666
Who:
GLaDOS
Fish shaped solid waste.
Listens:
690
Who:
Cake Sphere
Here's a hint: you're gonna want to pack as much living as you can into the next couple of minutes.
Listens:
705
Who:
GLaDOS
You're not smart. You're not a scientist. You're not a doctor. You're not even a fulltime employee. Where did your life go so wrong?
Listens:
18006
Who:
GLaDOS
There you are
Listens:
1254
Who:
Turret
The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment.
Listens:
412
Who:
GLaDOS
Certain objects may be vital to your success; Do not destroy testing apparatus.
Listens:
969
Who:
GLaDOS
Gotcha!
Listens:
1339
Who:
Turret
[DEATH SCREAM]
Listens:
3481
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Hello?
Listens:
4522
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop squirming and die like an adult or I'm going to delete your backup.
Listens:
4244
Who:
GLaDOS
One can prepared coconut pecan frosting.
Listens:
407
Who:
Cake Sphere
Now that you are in control of both portals, this next test could take a very, VERY, long time.
Listens:
448
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm not kidding now. Turn back or I will kill you.
Listens:
1085
Who:
GLaDOS
Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman's terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.
Listens:
5075
Who:
GLaDOS
Due to mandatory scheduled maintenance, the appropriate chamber for this testing sequence is currently unavailable.
Listens:
549
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello? Friend.
Listens:
45785
Who:
Turret
Neurotoxin... [cough] [cough] So deadly... [cough] Choking... [laughter] I'm kidding!
Listens:
23593
Who:
GLaDOS
Could you come over here?
Listens:
1250
Who:
Turret
We are throwing a party in honor of your tremendous success.
Listens:
740
Who:
GLaDOS
What was that? Did you say something?
Listens:
518
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROWL*
Listens:
4215
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
I see you
Listens:
13361
Who:
Turret
Nine large egg yolks.
Listens:
456
Who:
Cake Sphere
It was a morality core they installed after I flooded the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin to make me stop flooding the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin.
Listens:
6752
Who:
GLaDOS
It's funny, actually, when you think about it.
Listens:
498
Who:
GLaDOS
The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube cannot speak.
Listens:
641
Who:
GLaDOS
Target aquired.
Listens:
5538
Who:
Turret
Illegal operation
Listens:
981
Who:
Turret
All subjects intending to handle high-energy gamma leaking portal technology must be informed that they MAY be informed of applicable regulatory compliance issues.
Listens:
648
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing? Stop it! I... I... We are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you.
Listens:
8404
Who:
GLaDOS
*HISS*
Listens:
1206
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one.
Listens:
1138
Who:
GLaDOS
Fish shaped dirt.
Listens:
1026
Who:
Cake Sphere
Alalalawl
Listens:
1744
Who:
Turret
Oh, what's that?
Listens:
1244
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
I invited your best friend the companion cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him.
Listens:
9439
Who:
GLaDOS
As part of a previously mentioned required test protocol, we can no longer lie to you.
Listens:
398
Who:
GLaDOS
There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to.
Listens:
1337
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodbye
Listens:
1784
Who:
Turret
Huh. There isn't enough neurotoxin to kill you. So I guess you win.
Listens:
835
Who:
GLaDOS
I could take a bath in the stuff. Put it on cereal. Rub it right into my eyes. Honestly, it's not deadly at all. To me.
Listens:
7349
Who:
GLaDOS
Is that a gun?
Listens:
1774
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Unfortunately, as much as I'd love to now, I can't get the neurotoxin into your head any faster.
Listens:
996
Who:
GLaDOS
Nice job breaking it. Hero.
Listens:
27332
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROWL*
Listens:
4481
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center.
Listens:
31108
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROWL*
Listens:
1064
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Perfect. Please move quickly to the chamberlock, as the effects of prolonged exposure to the Button are not part of this test.
Listens:
1084
Who:
GLaDOS
Ayeyeyeyeye
Listens:
11790
Who:
Turret
If you become light headed from thirst, feel free to pass out.
Listens:
657
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey!
Listens:
4073
Who:
Turret
Your entire life has been a mathematical error. A mathematical error I'm about to correct.
Listens:
8862
Who:
GLaDOS
The Device is now more valuable than the organs and combined incomes of everyone in [subject hometown here].
Listens:
955
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh. Somebody cut the cake. I told them to wait for you, but they did it anyway. There is still some left, though, if you hurry back.
Listens:
6186
Who:
GLaDOS
You're doing very well!
Listens:
887
Who:
GLaDOS
I know you're there. I can feel you here.
Listens:
1354
Who:
GLaDOS
That's it. I'm done reasoning with you.
Listens:
682
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't believe me? Here, I'll put you on: [Hellooo!] That's you! That's how dumb you sound.
Listens:
130730
Who:
GLaDOS
Vital testing apparatus destroyed.
Listens:
1792
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you hear me? I said you don't care. Are you listening?
Listens:
3849
Who:
GLaDOS
Never mind. It's a mystery I'll solve later... By myself... Because you'll be dead. with the sphere, cycle through these:
Listens:
1158
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, I'm gonna kill you.
Listens:
1214
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done! Remember: The Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter to Work Day is the perfect time to have her tested.
Listens:
9777
Who:
GLaDOS
Didn't we have some fun, though?
Listens:
807
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it?
Listens:
5627
Who:
GLaDOS
*HISS*
Listens:
723
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Do not touch the operational end of The Device.
Listens:
1189
Who:
GLaDOS
Rest assured that there is absolutely no chance of a dangerous equipment malfunction prior to your victory candescence.
Listens:
444
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop! The device will detonate if removed from the testing area.
Listens:
577
Who:
GLaDOS
No one will blame you for giving up. In fact, quitting at this point is a perfectly reasonable response.
Listens:
544
Who:
GLaDOS
No hard fealings
Listens:
1331
Who:
Turret
Ohh!
Listens:
1894
Who:
GLaDOS
It was a fun test and we're all impressed at how much you won. The test is over. Come back.
Listens:
614
Who:
GLaDOS
Very impressive. Please note that any appearance of danger is merely a device to enhance your testing experience.
Listens:
573
Who:
GLaDOS
Target lost
Listens:
820
Who:
Turret
Can you hear me?
Listens:
529
Who:
GLaDOS
There really was a cake...
Listens:
21576
Who:
GLaDOS
One and two third cups granulated sugar.
Listens:
414
Who:
Cake Sphere
Help!
Listens:
757
Who:
Turret
At the Enrichment Center we promise never to value your safety above your unique ideas and creativity. However, do not destroy vital testing apparatus.
Listens:
727
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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