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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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HA! I'm making more. That's going to take a few minutes, though. Meanwhile... oh look, it's your old pal the rocket turret.
Listens:
1042
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't want to tell you you're business, but if it were me, I'd leave that thing alone.
Listens:
417
Who:
GLaDOS
Searching
Listens:
689
Who:
Turret
Stop what you are doing and assume the party escort submission position.
Listens:
1361
Who:
GLaDOS
Hibernating
Listens:
698
Who:
Turret
What is that?
Listens:
1407
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
One cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb.
Listens:
646
Who:
Cake Sphere
Are you even listening to me?
Listens:
639
Who:
GLaDOS
This is your last chance.
Listens:
406
Who:
GLaDOS
Spectacular. You appear to understand how a portal affects forward momentum, or to be more precise, how it does not.
Listens:
617
Who:
GLaDOS
Preparing to dispense product
Listens:
709
Who:
Turret
Can I help you?
Listens:
715
Who:
Turret
No hard fealings
Listens:
1330
Who:
Turret
Audible warning devices are required on all mobile equipment. However, alarms and flashing hazard lights have been found to agitate the high energy pellet and have therefore been disabled for your safety.
Listens:
842
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROWL*
Listens:
1395
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Go ahead and break it. Hero. I don't care.
Listens:
684
Who:
GLaDOS
Rest assured that there is absolutely no chance of a dangerous equipment malfunction prior to your victory candescence.
Listens:
444
Who:
GLaDOS
Vital testing apparatus destroyed.
Listens:
1790
Who:
GLaDOS
We are very, very happy for your success.
Listens:
650
Who:
GLaDOS
Fantastic! You remained resolute and resourceful in an atmosphere of extreme pessimism.
Listens:
1248
Who:
GLaDOS
Starting now, there's going to be a lot less conversation and a lot more killing.
Listens:
1622
Who:
GLaDOS
For more information, please attend an Enrichment Center Electrical Safety seminar.
Listens:
419
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm going to kill you and all the cake is gone.
Listens:
14063
Who:
GLaDOS
Waaaaaaaaah!
Listens:
1150
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent. Please proceed into the chamberlock after completing each test.
Listens:
631
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it? WELL I WON'T LET YOU. How does that feel?
Listens:
66078
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm not angry. Just go back to the testing area.
Listens:
636
Who:
GLaDOS
Fiberglass surface resins.
Listens:
406
Who:
Cake Sphere
Alpha resins.
Listens:
711
Who:
Cake Sphere
You're doing very well!
Listens:
887
Who:
GLaDOS
There you are
Listens:
1254
Who:
Turret
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee[bzzt]
Listens:
25278
Who:
GLaDOS
Where are you?
Listens:
474
Who:
GLaDOS
Why...
Listens:
4188
Who:
Turret
*SNARL*
Listens:
861
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
*PANT*
Listens:
954
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
*HISS*
Listens:
722
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Unfortunately, as much as I'd love to now, I can't get the neurotoxin into your head any faster.
Listens:
996
Who:
GLaDOS
Testing cannot continue until your Companion Cube has been incinerated.
Listens:
726
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not submerge The Device in liquid, even partially.
Listens:
1043
Who:
GLaDOS
Assume the party escort submission position or you will miss the party.
Listens:
3431
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROAN*
Listens:
9008
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
There you are
Listens:
7522
Who:
Turret
Excuse me
Listens:
813
Who:
Turret
Lawl
Listens:
1686
Who:
Turret
Have I lied to you? I mean in this room. Trust me, leave that thing alone.
Listens:
1056
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing? Stop it! I... I... We are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you.
Listens:
8396
Who:
GLaDOS
Four large eggs. One cup semi-sweet chocolate chips.
Listens:
559
Who:
Cake Sphere
Woooaaah!
Listens:
1190
Who:
Turret
Do not look directly at the operational end of The Device.
Listens:
17698
Who:
GLaDOS
That thing you burned up isn't important to me. It's the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It made shoes for orphans.
Listens:
1384
Who:
GLaDOS
Nine large egg yolks.
Listens:
456
Who:
Cake Sphere
Perfect. Please move quickly to the chamberlock, as the effects of prolonged exposure to the Button are not part of this test.
Listens:
1084
Who:
GLaDOS
You're doing quite well.
Listens:
428
Who:
GLaDOS
One cup granulated sugar.
Listens:
402
Who:
Cake Sphere
Frankly, this chamber was a mistake. If we were you, we would quit now.
Listens:
410
Who:
GLaDOS
An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands.'
Listens:
1420
Who:
Cake Sphere
Oh! [Surprise]
Listens:
4776
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, what's that?
Listens:
1244
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Put me down!
Listens:
1030
Who:
Turret
Pull and peel licorice.
Listens:
412
Who:
Cake Sphere
No further compliance information is required or will be provided, and you are an excellent test subject!
Listens:
468
Who:
GLaDOS
It was a morality core they installed after I flooded the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin to make me stop flooding the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin.
Listens:
6745
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center.
Listens:
31092
Who:
GLaDOS
Fish shaped solid waste.
Listens:
690
Who:
Cake Sphere
The difference between us is that I can feel pain.
Listens:
437
Who:
GLaDOS
When you are done, you will drop the Device in the equipment recovery annex...
Listens:
441
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohh!
Listens:
1891
Who:
GLaDOS
You don't even care. Do you?
Listens:
4026
Who:
GLaDOS
*SNORT*
Listens:
2805
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Fish shaped ethyl benzene.
Listens:
699
Who:
Cake Sphere
Deploying
Listens:
736
Who:
Turret
Please put me down
Listens:
1238
Who:
Turret
Ahahaha
Listens:
882
Who:
Turret
Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test.
Listens:
9090
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROWL*
Listens:
867
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals.
Listens:
568
Who:
Cake Sphere
Stop shooting!
Listens:
965
Who:
Turret
Two cups all purpose flower.
Listens:
415
Who:
Cake Sphere
Hello!
Listens:
21693
Who:
Turret
The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that you will be baked, and then there will be cake.
Listens:
11339
Who:
GLaDOS
Please be careful.
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
Because I don't think you're going where you think you're going.
Listens:
707
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
2082
Who:
Turret
The difference between us is that I can feel pain.
Listens:
1287
Who:
GLaDOS
Please proceed to the Aperture Science Vital Apparatus Vent for a replacement.
Listens:
619
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done! Be advised that the next test requires exposure to uninsulated electrical parts that may be dangerous under certain conditions.
Listens:
436
Who:
GLaDOS
Speaking of curiosity: you're curious about what happens after you die, right? Guess what: I know.
Listens:
1299
Who:
GLaDOS
You are kidding me.
Listens:
5930
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you still standing there?
Listens:
614
Who:
GLaDOS
Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of all enrichment center activities, serious injuries may occur.
Listens:
1098
Who:
GLaDOS
You're not smart. You're not a scientist. You're not a doctor. You're not even a fulltime employee. Where did your life go so wrong?
Listens:
17986
Who:
GLaDOS
Unbelievable ! You, [louder] Subject Name Here[/louder], must be the pride of [louder]Subject Hometown Here[/louder].
Listens:
8394
Who:
GLaDOS
Once again, the Enrichment Center offers its most sincere apologies on the occasion of this unsolvable test environment.
Listens:
399
Who:
GLaDOS
Someday we'll remember this and laugh. and laugh. and laugh. Oh boy. Well. You may as well come on back.
Listens:
9388
Who:
GLaDOS
Your entire life has been a mathematical error. A mathematical error I'm about to correct.
Listens:
8858
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay fine: DO touch it. Pick it up and just... Stuff it back into me.
Listens:
628
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, what's in here?
Listens:
8695
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Okay. The test is over. You win. Go back to the recovery annex. For your cake.
Listens:
3849
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh well. If you want my advice, you should just lie down in front of a rocket. Trust me, it'll be a lot less painful than the neurotoxin.
Listens:
1065
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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