Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
At the Enrichment Center we promise never to value your safety above your unique ideas and creativity. However, do not destroy vital testing apparatus.
Listens:
575
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you still standing there?
Listens:
574
Who:
GLaDOS
It was a fun test and we're all impressed at how much you won. The test is over. Come back.
Listens:
570
Who:
GLaDOS
One cross borehole electro-magnetic imaging rhubarb.
Listens:
570
Who:
Cake Sphere
All subjects intending to handle high-energy gamma leaking portal technology must be informed that they MAY be informed of applicable regulatory compliance issues.
Listens:
561
Who:
GLaDOS
Please proceed to the Aperture Science Vital Apparatus Vent for a replacement.
Listens:
557
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm not angry. Just go back to the testing area.
Listens:
551
Who:
GLaDOS
Spectacular. You appear to understand how a portal affects forward momentum, or to be more precise, how it does not.
Listens:
546
Who:
GLaDOS
If you become light headed from thirst, feel free to pass out.
Listens:
544
Who:
GLaDOS
Please proceed to the chamberlock. Mind the gap.
Listens:
537
Who:
GLaDOS
Injector needle gun.
Listens:
529
Who:
Cake Sphere
We won't have to try to kill each other or even talk if we don't feel like it.
Listens:
525
Who:
GLaDOS
The Device has been modified so that it can now manufacture two linked portals at once.
Listens:
525
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent. Please proceed into the chamberlock after completing each test.
Listens:
518
Who:
GLaDOS
Four large eggs. One cup semi-sweet chocolate chips.
Listens:
513
Who:
Cake Sphere
I feel sorry for you, really, because you're not even in the right place.
Listens:
505
Who:
GLaDOS
It has been replaced with a live-fire course designed for military androids.
Listens:
504
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome to test chamber four.
Listens:
502
Who:
GLaDOS
Very impressive. Please note that any appearance of danger is merely a device to enhance your testing experience.
Listens:
499
Who:
GLaDOS
Due to mandatory scheduled maintenance, the appropriate chamber for this testing sequence is currently unavailable.
Listens:
499
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you could settle for that and we'll just call it a day.
Listens:
496
Who:
GLaDOS
A complimentary escape hatch will open in three... Two... One.
Listens:
492
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop! The device will detonate if removed from the testing area.
Listens:
488
Who:
GLaDOS
And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals.
Listens:
486
Who:
Cake Sphere
What was that? Did you say something?
Listens:
476
Who:
GLaDOS
No one will blame you for giving up. In fact, quitting at this point is a perfectly reasonable response.
Listens:
475
Who:
GLaDOS
As part of an optional test protocol, we are pleased to present an amusing fact:
Listens:
473
Who:
GLaDOS
Can you hear me?
Listens:
471
Who:
GLaDOS
Through no fault of the Enrichment Center, you have managed to trap yourself in this room.
Listens:
462
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's be honest: Neither one of us knows what that thing does. Just put it in the corner, and I'll deal with it later.
Listens:
462
Who:
GLaDOS
Can you hear me?
Listens:
450
Who:
GLaDOS
It's funny, actually, when you think about it.
Listens:
449
Who:
GLaDOS
Place the device on the ground then lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides.
Listens:
448
Who:
GLaDOS
Cranial caps.
Listens:
447
Who:
Cake Sphere
You're going to find out first hand before I'd finish explaining it, though, so I won't bother.
Listens:
444
Who:
GLaDOS
First, however, note the incandescent particle field across the exit.
Listens:
436
Who:
GLaDOS
Where are you?
Listens:
431
Who:
GLaDOS
One cup lemon juice.
Listens:
429
Who:
Cake Sphere
You can't hurt me.
Listens:
426
Who:
GLaDOS
Nine large egg yolks.
Listens:
423
Who:
Cake Sphere
You should have turned left before.
Listens:
410
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you still listening?
Listens:
409
Who:
GLaDOS
The symptoms most commonly produced by Enrichment Center testing are superstition, perceiving inanimate objects as alive, and hallucinations.
Listens:
407
Who:
GLaDOS
Now that you are in control of both portals, this next test could take a very, VERY, long time.
Listens:
401
Who:
GLaDOS
You shouldn't be here. This isn't safe for you.
Listens:
400
Who:
GLaDOS
That thing you're attacking isn't important to me. It's the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It makes shoes for orphans.
Listens:
398
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't forget garnishes such as:
Listens:
397
Who:
Cake Sphere
I wouldn't bother with that thing. My guess is that touching it will just make your life even worse somehow.
Listens:
396
Who:
GLaDOS
One tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb.
Listens:
394
Who:
Cake Sphere
You haven't escaped, you know.
Listens:
393
Who:
GLaDOS
It's not too late to turn back.
Listens:
391
Who:
GLaDOS
No further compliance information is required or will be provided, and you are an excellent test subject!
Listens:
386
Who:
GLaDOS
And volatile malted milk impoundments.
Listens:
386
Who:
Cake Sphere
For more information, please attend an Enrichment Center Electrical Safety seminar.
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
Please be careful.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, we're even now. You can stop.
Listens:
376
Who:
GLaDOS
These intra dimensional gates have proven to be completely safe.
Listens:
375
Who:
GLaDOS
You're doing quite well.
Listens:
373
Who:
GLaDOS
Pull and peel licorice.
Listens:
372
Who:
Cake Sphere
Unsaturated polyester resin.
Listens:
372
Who:
Cake Sphere
Injector needle driver.
Listens:
371
Who:
Cake Sphere
The Enrichment Center apologizes for this clearly broken test chamber.
Listens:
369
Who:
GLaDOS
Where are you taking that thing?
Listens:
369
Who:
GLaDOS
Rest assured that there is absolutely no chance of a dangerous equipment malfunction prior to your victory candescence.
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
The difference between us is that I can feel pain.
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
When you are done, you will drop the Device in the equipment recovery annex...
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Someone is going to get badly hurt.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Come on, leave it alone.
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Cordless electric needle injector.
Listens:
365
Who:
Cake Sphere
Fiberglass surface resins.
Listens:
364
Who:
Cake Sphere
One can prepared coconut pecan frosting.
Listens:
364
Who:
Cake Sphere
I am being serious now. That crazy thing is not part of any test protocol.
Listens:
364
Who:
GLaDOS
This is your last chance.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll tell you what that thing isn't: It isn't yours. So leave it alone.
Listens:
363
Who:
GLaDOS
Two slash three cups granulated rhubarb.
Listens:
362
Who:
Cake Sphere
Please do not attempt to remove testing apparatus from the testing area.
Listens:
360
Who:
GLaDOS
Make no attempt to solve it.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't want to tell you you're business, but if it were me, I'd leave that thing alone.
Listens:
358
Who:
GLaDOS
As part of a required test protocol, we will not monitor the next test chamber. You will be entirely on your own. Good luck.
Listens:
357
Who:
GLaDOS
That will deodorize and preserve putrid tissue.
Listens:
357
Who:
Cake Sphere
Two cups rhubarb, sliced.
Listens:
357
Who:
Cake Sphere
Well done! Be advised that the next test requires exposure to uninsulated electrical parts that may be dangerous under certain conditions.
Listens:
356
Who:
GLaDOS
One teaspoon grated orange rhubarb.
Listens:
356
Who:
Cake Sphere
Three slash four cup vegetable oil.
Listens:
356
Who:
Cake Sphere
Once again, excellent work.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
An escape hatch will open in three... Two... One.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
The Enrichment Center apologizes for the inconvenience and wishes you the best of luck.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
However, it cannot accompany you for the rest of the test and, unfortunately, must be euthanized.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
One and two third cups granulated sugar.
Listens:
355
Who:
Cake Sphere
Two cups all purpose flower.
Listens:
355
Who:
Cake Sphere
Two tablespoons rhubarb juice.
Listens:
355
Who:
Cake Sphere
A replacement Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube will be delivered shortly.
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
Once again, the Enrichment Center offers its most sincere apologies on the occasion of this unsolvable test environment.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. Now use the Aperture Science Unstationary Scaffold to reach the chamberlock.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
As part of a previously mentioned required test protocol, we can no longer lie to you.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
Very very good. A complimentary victory lift has been activated in the main chamber.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
The experiment is nearing its conclusion.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
One cup granulated sugar.
Listens:
354
Who:
Cake Sphere
Three slash four cups butter or margarine.
Listens:
354
Who:
Cake Sphere
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
