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Portal 2
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Vital testing apparatus destroyed.
Listens:
830
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, you're wasting your time. And, believe me, you don't have a whole lot left to waste.
Listens:
509
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh well. If you want my advice, you should just lie down in front of a rocket. Trust me, it'll be a lot less painful than the neurotoxin.
Listens:
676
Who:
GLaDOS
And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals.
Listens:
320
Who:
Cake Sphere
I'd just like to point out that you were given every opportunity to succeed.
Listens:
613
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't shoot!
Listens:
551
Who:
Turret
Spectacular. You appear to understand how a portal affects forward momentum, or to be more precise, how it does not.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test.
Listens:
7446
Who:
GLaDOS
I could take a bath in the stuff. Put it on cereal. Rub it right into my eyes. Honestly, it's not deadly at all. To me.
Listens:
5430
Who:
GLaDOS
Enrichment Center regulations require both hands to be empty before any cake can be served.
Listens:
1119
Who:
GLaDOS
Who are you?
Listens:
1131
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Are you still listening?
Listens:
273
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop what you are doing and assume the party escort submission position.
Listens:
1026
Who:
GLaDOS
Dispensing product
Listens:
658
Who:
Turret
Hey!
Listens:
2967
Who:
Turret
Are you coming back?
Listens:
2935
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Assume the party escort submission position or you will miss the party.
Listens:
2663
Who:
GLaDOS
It's funny, actually, when you think about it.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
Very very good. A complimentary victory lift has been activated in the main chamber.
Listens:
239
Who:
GLaDOS
Rest assured that an independent panel of ethicists has absolved the Enrichment Center, Aperture Science employees, and all test subjects of any moral responsibility for the Companion Cube euthanizing process.
Listens:
2699
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, look at THAT thing! No, that other thing.
Listens:
3390
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
The difference between us is that I can feel pain.
Listens:
241
Who:
GLaDOS
Although the euthanizing process is remarkably painful, eight out of ten Aperture Science engineers believe that the Companion Cube is most likely incapable of feeling much pain.
Listens:
648
Who:
GLaDOS
Candy coated peanut butter pieces. Shaped like fish.
Listens:
2867
Who:
Cake Sphere
The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment.
Listens:
239
Who:
GLaDOS
At the Enrichment Center we promise never to value your safety above your unique ideas and creativity. However, do not destroy vital testing apparatus.
Listens:
403
Who:
GLaDOS
One cup granulated sugar.
Listens:
242
Who:
Cake Sphere
Please proceed to the chamberlock. Mind the gap.
Listens:
431
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
2687
Who:
GLaDOS
This Weighted Companion Cube will accompany you through the test chamber. Please take care of it.
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
The Device, however, has not.
Listens:
382
Who:
GLaDOS
An intubation associate will be dispatched to revive you with peptic salve and adrenaline.
Listens:
526
Who:
GLaDOS
Twelve medium geosynthetic membranes.
Listens:
239
Who:
Cake Sphere
The experiment is nearing its conclusion.
Listens:
244
Who:
GLaDOS
These intra dimensional gates have proven to be completely safe.
Listens:
245
Who:
GLaDOS
Make no further attempt to leave the testing area.
Listens:
241
Who:
GLaDOS
Unfortunately, as much as I'd love to now, I can't get the neurotoxin into your head any faster.
Listens:
634
Who:
GLaDOS
Waaaaaaaaah!
Listens:
676
Who:
GLaDOS
Very good! You are now in possession of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device.
Listens:
1096
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you even listening to me?
Listens:
410
Who:
GLaDOS
You on the other hand, are going to find its deadliness a lot less funny.
Listens:
476
Who:
GLaDOS
Fantastic! You remained resolute and resourceful in an atmosphere of extreme pessimism.
Listens:
697
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhhhhhhh!
Listens:
4880
Who:
GLaDOS
One tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb.
Listens:
268
Who:
Cake Sphere
That thing is probably some kind of raw sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it.
Listens:
3024
Who:
GLaDOS
You're going to find out first hand before I'd finish explaining it, though, so I won't bother.
Listens:
289
Who:
GLaDOS
[DEATH SCREAM]
Listens:
2307
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to.
Listens:
979
Who:
GLaDOS
Unbelievable ! You, [louder] Subject Name Here[/louder], must be the pride of [louder]Subject Hometown Here[/louder].
Listens:
5972
Who:
GLaDOS
*HISS*
Listens:
334
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
I have an infinite capacity for knowledge, and even I'm not sure what's going on outside.
Listens:
2480
Who:
GLaDOS
[pain sound]
Listens:
799
Who:
GLaDOS
Think about it: If that thing is important, why don't I know about it?
Listens:
246
Who:
GLaDOS
You did it! The Weighted Companion Cube certainly brought you good luck.
Listens:
412
Who:
GLaDOS
I am being serious now. That crazy thing is not part of any test protocol.
Listens:
240
Who:
GLaDOS
Time out for a second. That wasn't supposed to happen.
Listens:
648
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROWL*
Listens:
829
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
As part of a required test protocol, we will not monitor the next test chamber. You will be entirely on your own. Good luck.
Listens:
243
Who:
GLaDOS
I let you survive this long because I was curious about your behavior. Well, you've managed to destroy that part of me.
Listens:
545
Who:
GLaDOS
We are throwing a party in honor of your tremendous success.
Listens:
531
Who:
GLaDOS
You are kidding me.
Listens:
3888
Who:
GLaDOS
Never mind. It's a mystery I'll solve later... By myself... Because you'll be dead. with the sphere, cycle through these:
Listens:
784
Who:
GLaDOS
Nap time
Listens:
1741
Who:
Turret
Rest assured that there is absolutely no chance of a dangerous equipment malfunction prior to your victory candescence.
Listens:
268
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you hear me? I said you don't care. Are you listening?
Listens:
2764
Who:
GLaDOS
Through no fault of the Enrichment Center, you have managed to trap yourself in this room.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that you will be baked, and then there will be cake.
Listens:
8570
Who:
GLaDOS
Your entire life has been a mathematical error. A mathematical error I'm about to correct.
Listens:
6458
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't hate you
Listens:
28983
Who:
Turret
It has been replaced with a live-fire course designed for military androids.
Listens:
416
Who:
GLaDOS
Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill, which may, in semi- rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth.
Listens:
3836
Who:
GLaDOS
First, however, note the incandescent particle field across the exit.
Listens:
280
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, we're both stuck in this place. I'll use lasers to inscribe a line down the center of the facility, and one half will be where you live and I'll live in the other half.
Listens:
2718
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey
Listens:
4641
Who:
Turret
I'm going to kill you and all the cake is gone.
Listens:
10723
Who:
GLaDOS
One and two third cups granulated sugar.
Listens:
247
Who:
Cake Sphere
Hello? Friend.
Listens:
37966
Who:
Turret
What was that? Did you say something?
Listens:
350
Who:
GLaDOS
This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grid will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it - for instance, the Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube.
Listens:
625
Who:
GLaDOS
Injector needle driver.
Listens:
241
Who:
Cake Sphere
That has got to be the dumbest thing that-whoah. Whoah, whoah, whoah. [The voice has subtly changed. Smoother, more seductive, less computerized]
Listens:
35557
Who:
GLaDOS
Please put me down
Listens:
861
Who:
Turret
Good. Now use the Aperture Science Unstationary Scaffold to reach the chamberlock.
Listens:
239
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you still there?
Listens:
9161
Who:
Turret
The Enrichment Center apologizes for this clearly broken test chamber.
Listens:
243
Who:
GLaDOS
You euthanized your faithful Companion Cube more quickly than any test subject on record. Congratulations.
Listens:
1491
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing?
Listens:
641
Who:
GLaDOS
*YIPE*
Listens:
4616
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Don't believe me? Here, I'll put you on: [Hellooo!] That's you! That's how dumb you sound.
Listens:
119803
Who:
GLaDOS
Ayeyeyeyeye
Listens:
8383
Who:
Turret
I see you
Listens:
10631
Who:
Turret
The part of you that could have survived indefinitely is gone. I just struck you from the permanent record.
Listens:
414
Who:
GLaDOS
Is that a gun?
Listens:
1223
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Fish shaped candies.
Listens:
4357
Who:
Cake Sphere
Who ARE you?
Listens:
1349
Who:
Turret
Do not look directly at the operational end of The Device.
Listens:
14667
Who:
GLaDOS
Now that you are in control of both portals, this next test could take a very, VERY, long time.
Listens:
317
Who:
GLaDOS
If you become light headed from thirst, feel free to pass out.
Listens:
348
Who:
GLaDOS
One can prepared coconut pecan frosting.
Listens:
249
Who:
Cake Sphere
Is anyone there?
Listens:
823
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
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