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Portal 2
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We are very, very happy for your success.
Listens:
463
Who:
GLaDOS
Excuse me
Listens:
442
Who:
Turret
No one will blame you for giving up. In fact, quitting at this point is a perfectly reasonable response.
Listens:
337
Who:
GLaDOS
Where do you think you're going?
Listens:
448
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh!
Listens:
450
Who:
Turret
Hello!
Listens:
16937
Who:
Turret
Look, you're wasting your time. And, believe me, you don't have a whole lot left to waste.
Listens:
482
Who:
GLaDOS
Coming through!
Listens:
401
Who:
Turret
Three slash four cups butter or margarine.
Listens:
229
Who:
Cake Sphere
Put me down!
Listens:
614
Who:
Turret
For more information, please attend an Enrichment Center Electrical Safety seminar.
Listens:
221
Who:
GLaDOS
Nine large egg yolks.
Listens:
243
Who:
Cake Sphere
*HISS*
Listens:
402
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Two cups rhubarb, sliced.
Listens:
226
Who:
Cake Sphere
Good. Now use the Aperture Science Unstationary Scaffold to reach the chamberlock.
Listens:
225
Who:
GLaDOS
I know you're there. I can feel you here.
Listens:
826
Who:
GLaDOS
Look, we're both stuck in this place. I'll use lasers to inscribe a line down the center of the facility, and one half will be where you live and I'll live in the other half.
Listens:
2615
Who:
GLaDOS
It was a fun test and we're all impressed at how much you won. The test is over. Come back.
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
I am being serious now. That crazy thing is not part of any test protocol.
Listens:
225
Who:
GLaDOS
Shutting down
Listens:
11406
Who:
Turret
Three tablespoons rhubarb, on fire.
Listens:
625
Who:
Cake Sphere
STOP! Okay, enough. I deleted it. No matter what happens now, you're dead.
Listens:
1399
Who:
GLaDOS
Good job! As part of a required test protocol, we will stop enhancing the truth in three... Two... One.
Listens:
2978
Who:
GLaDOS
Unless you have a plan for building some supercomputer parts in a big hurry, this place isn't going to be safe much longer.
Listens:
512
Who:
GLaDOS
Frankly, this chamber was a mistake. If we were you, we would quit now.
Listens:
221
Who:
GLaDOS
Canvassing
Listens:
401
Who:
Turret
As part of a required test protocol, our previous statement suggesting that we would not monitor this chamber was an outright fabrication.
Listens:
539
Who:
GLaDOS
The Vital Apparatus Vent will deliver a Weighted Companion Cube in Three. Two. One.
Listens:
531
Who:
GLaDOS
Because despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far is my heart.
Listens:
3328
Who:
GLaDOS
All your other friends couldn't come either because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikable you are.
Listens:
3951
Who:
GLaDOS
Let's be honest: Neither one of us knows what that thing does. Just put it in the corner, and I'll deal with it later.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey hey hey!
Listens:
3113
Who:
Turret
For instance, the floor here will kill you - try to avoid it.
Listens:
2721
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you still standing there?
Listens:
573
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROWL*
Listens:
1064
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Are you still standing there?
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
Rrr, I hate you.[PAIN LAUGHTER]
Listens:
54083
Who:
GLaDOS
Destroy your Companion Cube or the testing cannot continue.
Listens:
469
Who:
GLaDOS
What's that?
Listens:
726
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Where are we going?
Listens:
526
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Hello?
Listens:
2572
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science self esteem fund for girls? It's true!
Listens:
1270
Who:
GLaDOS
Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test.
Listens:
7249
Who:
GLaDOS
*SNARL*
Listens:
389
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
You can't hurt me.
Listens:
234
Who:
GLaDOS
Just ignore that thing and stand still.
Listens:
227
Who:
GLaDOS
Huh. That core may have had some ancillary responsibilities. I can't shut off the turret defenses.
Listens:
388
Who:
GLaDOS
Very impressive. Please note that any appearance of danger is merely a device to enhance your testing experience.
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
Rest assured that an independent panel of ethicists has absolved the Enrichment Center, Aperture Science employees, and all test subjects of any moral responsibility for the Companion Cube euthanizing process.
Listens:
2598
Who:
GLaDOS
Excellent. Please proceed into the chamberlock after completing each test.
Listens:
332
Who:
GLaDOS
I wouldn't bother with that thing. My guess is that touching it will just make your life even worse somehow.
Listens:
250
Who:
GLaDOS
[pain noise] You think you're doing some damage? Two plus two is... ten. IN BASE FOUR! I'M FINE!
Listens:
10678
Who:
GLaDOS
The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that you will be baked, and then there will be cake.
Listens:
8353
Who:
GLaDOS
You're doing quite well.
Listens:
226
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey!
Listens:
2850
Who:
Turret
Fish shaped ethyl benzene.
Listens:
398
Who:
Cake Sphere
There you are
Listens:
5400
Who:
Turret
Alalalawl
Listens:
1047
Who:
Turret
And volatile malted milk impoundments.
Listens:
227
Who:
Cake Sphere
Good news: I figured out what that thing that you just burned up did.
Listens:
2686
Who:
GLaDOS
One teaspoon grated orange rhubarb.
Listens:
224
Who:
Cake Sphere
It was a morality core they installed after I flooded the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin to make me stop flooding the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin.
Listens:
4472
Who:
GLaDOS
Very very good. A complimentary victory lift has been activated in the main chamber.
Listens:
224
Who:
GLaDOS
With it, you can create your own portals.
Listens:
523
Who:
GLaDOS
As part of an optional test protocol, we are pleased to present an amusing fact:
Listens:
355
Who:
GLaDOS
Where are you taking that thing?
Listens:
236
Who:
GLaDOS
And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals.
Listens:
293
Who:
Cake Sphere
All I know is I'm the only thing standing between us and them. Well, I was.
Listens:
997
Who:
GLaDOS
Vital testing apparatus destroyed.
Listens:
776
Who:
GLaDOS
One tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb.
Listens:
240
Who:
Cake Sphere
At the Enrichment Center we promise never to value your safety above your unique ideas and creativity. However, do not destroy vital testing apparatus.
Listens:
383
Who:
GLaDOS
Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman's terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.
Listens:
3358
Who:
GLaDOS
Very good! You are now in possession of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device.
Listens:
1029
Who:
GLaDOS
Assume the party escort submission position or you will miss the party.
Listens:
2604
Who:
GLaDOS
The symptoms most commonly produced by Enrichment Center testing are superstition, perceiving inanimate objects as alive, and hallucinations.
Listens:
290
Who:
GLaDOS
Fish shaped candies.
Listens:
4157
Who:
Cake Sphere
Are you coming back?
Listens:
2796
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
*SNORT*
Listens:
1940
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Hi?
Listens:
850
Who:
Turret
I'd just like to point out that you were given every opportunity to succeed.
Listens:
571
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! [Surprise]
Listens:
3062
Who:
GLaDOS
All right, keep doing whatever it is you think you're doing.
Listens:
934
Who:
GLaDOS
Ayeyeyeyeye
Listens:
8028
Who:
Turret
We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one.
Listens:
659
Who:
GLaDOS
Thank you for helping us help you help us all.
Listens:
8400
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't shoot!
Listens:
510
Who:
Turret
I don't hate you
Listens:
28359
Who:
Turret
Where are we going?
Listens:
696
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Hey
Listens:
4421
Who:
Turret
Maybe you could settle for that and we'll just call it a day.
Listens:
345
Who:
GLaDOS
Twelve medium geosynthetic membranes.
Listens:
223
Who:
Cake Sphere
Searching
Listens:
536
Who:
Turret
Deploying
Listens:
414
Who:
Turret
Firing
Listens:
597
Who:
Turret
You did it! The Weighted Companion Cube certainly brought you good luck.
Listens:
390
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm not kidding now. Turn back or I will kill you.
Listens:
696
Who:
GLaDOS
*GRUNT*
Listens:
390
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Now that you are in control of both portals, this next test could take a very, VERY, long time.
Listens:
304
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you even listening to me?
Listens:
385
Who:
GLaDOS
The part of you that could have survived indefinitely is gone. I just struck you from the permanent record.
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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