Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
*GROWL*
Listens:
584
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
A party associate will arrive shortly to collect you for your party.
Listens:
475
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh! [Surprise]
Listens:
3400
Who:
GLaDOS
Four large eggs. One cup semi-sweet chocolate chips.
Listens:
362
Who:
Cake Sphere
Rest assured that an independent panel of ethicists has absolved the Enrichment Center, Aperture Science employees, and all test subjects of any moral responsibility for the Companion Cube euthanizing process.
Listens:
2747
Who:
GLaDOS
Who ARE you?
Listens:
1418
Who:
Turret
Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science self esteem fund for girls? It's true!
Listens:
1362
Who:
GLaDOS
Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman's terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.
Listens:
3563
Who:
GLaDOS
Is that a gun?
Listens:
1297
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
You don't even care. Do you?
Listens:
436
Who:
GLaDOS
And it contains proven preservatives, deep penetration agents, and gas and odor control chemicals.
Listens:
335
Who:
Cake Sphere
Do you see that thing that fell out of me? What is that? It's not the surprise... I've never seen it before.
Listens:
645
Who:
GLaDOS
At the Enrichment Center we promise never to value your safety above your unique ideas and creativity. However, do not destroy vital testing apparatus.
Listens:
430
Who:
GLaDOS
Place the device on the ground then lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides.
Listens:
340
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodnight
Listens:
9863
Who:
Turret
Vital testing apparatus destroyed.
Listens:
877
Who:
GLaDOS
Due to mandatory scheduled maintenance, the appropriate chamber for this testing sequence is currently unavailable.
Listens:
377
Who:
GLaDOS
You euthanized your faithful Companion Cube more quickly than any test subject on record. Congratulations.
Listens:
1532
Who:
GLaDOS
Resting
Listens:
448
Who:
Turret
Three tablespoons rhubarb, on fire.
Listens:
671
Who:
Cake Sphere
However, it cannot accompany you for the rest of the test and, unfortunately, must be euthanized.
Listens:
264
Who:
GLaDOS
Adjustable aluminum head positioner.
Listens:
527
Who:
Cake Sphere
Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper.
Listens:
981
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodbye
Listens:
1267
Who:
Turret
An intubation associate will be dispatched to revive you with peptic salve and adrenaline.
Listens:
542
Who:
GLaDOS
[pain noise] You think you're doing some damage? Two plus two is... ten. IN BASE FOUR! I'M FINE!
Listens:
11554
Who:
GLaDOS
Through no fault of the Enrichment Center, you have managed to trap yourself in this room.
Listens:
344
Who:
GLaDOS
Waaaaaaaaah!
Listens:
737
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROWL*
Listens:
578
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
The Companion Cube cannot continue through the testing. State and Local statutory regulations prohibit it from simply remaining here, alone and companionless. You must euthanize it.
Listens:
3042
Who:
GLaDOS
Coming through!
Listens:
454
Who:
Turret
Are you even listening to me?
Listens:
444
Who:
GLaDOS
Good. Now use the Aperture Science Unstationary Scaffold to reach the chamberlock.
Listens:
262
Who:
GLaDOS
That thing you burned up isn't important to me. It's the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It made shoes for orphans.
Listens:
860
Who:
GLaDOS
An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands.'
Listens:
928
Who:
Cake Sphere
What are you doing? Stop it! I... I... We are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you.
Listens:
5904
Who:
GLaDOS
I let you survive this long because I was curious about your behavior. Well, you've managed to destroy that part of me.
Listens:
576
Who:
GLaDOS
I'd just like to point out that you were given every opportunity to succeed.
Listens:
638
Who:
GLaDOS
*ROAR*
Listens:
662
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Where are you taking that thing?
Listens:
267
Who:
GLaDOS
What's your point, anyway? Survival? Well then, the last thing you want to do is hurt me.
Listens:
143682
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center.
Listens:
25495
Who:
GLaDOS
HA! I'm making more. That's going to take a few minutes, though. Meanwhile... oh look, it's your old pal the rocket turret.
Listens:
689
Who:
GLaDOS
What is that?
Listens:
980
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Well done! Remember: The Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter to Work Day is the perfect time to have her tested.
Listens:
8150
Who:
GLaDOS
Uh oh. Somebody cut the cake. I told them to wait for you, but they did it anyway. There is still some left, though, if you hurry back.
Listens:
4590
Who:
GLaDOS
One and two third cups granulated sugar.
Listens:
260
Who:
Cake Sphere
Nap time
Listens:
1788
Who:
Turret
Gotcha!
Listens:
863
Who:
Turret
In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice.
Listens:
2793
Who:
GLaDOS
Unless you have a plan for building some supercomputer parts in a big hurry, this place isn't going to be safe much longer.
Listens:
570
Who:
GLaDOS
You're still shuffling around a little, but believe me you're dead.
Listens:
2874
Who:
GLaDOS
Now that you are in control of both portals, this next test could take a very, VERY, long time.
Listens:
327
Who:
GLaDOS
There you are
Listens:
5735
Who:
Turret
No hard fealings
Listens:
957
Who:
Turret
Searching
Listens:
603
Who:
Turret
Fish shaped candies.
Listens:
4488
Who:
Cake Sphere
Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test.
Listens:
7572
Who:
GLaDOS
Very good! You are now in possession of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device.
Listens:
1146
Who:
GLaDOS
Spectacular. You appear to understand how a portal affects forward momentum, or to be more precise, how it does not.
Listens:
365
Who:
GLaDOS
Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of all enrichment center activities, serious injuries may occur.
Listens:
750
Who:
GLaDOS
That has got to be the dumbest thing that-whoah. Whoah, whoah, whoah. [The voice has subtly changed. Smoother, more seductive, less computerized]
Listens:
36115
Who:
GLaDOS
Two cups all purpose flower.
Listens:
256
Who:
Cake Sphere
Are you still listening?
Listens:
295
Who:
GLaDOS
Sentry mode activated
Listens:
731
Who:
Turret
Cordless electric needle injector.
Listens:
276
Who:
Cake Sphere
Fish shaped crackers.
Listens:
3086
Who:
Cake Sphere
Are you still standing there?
Listens:
437
Who:
GLaDOS
Audible warning devices are required on all mobile equipment. However, alarms and flashing hazard lights have been found to agitate the high energy pellet and have therefore been disabled for your safety.
Listens:
569
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodbye.
Listens:
5085
Who:
GLaDOS
Incinerate your Companion Cube.
Listens:
473
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROWL*
Listens:
1181
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Good news: I figured out what that thing that you just burned up did.
Listens:
2924
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop what you are doing and assume the party escort submission position.
Listens:
1058
Who:
GLaDOS
Unbelievable ! You, [louder] Subject Name Here[/louder], must be the pride of [louder]Subject Hometown Here[/louder].
Listens:
6131
Who:
GLaDOS
All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees Kelvin.
Listens:
2808
Who:
GLaDOS
As part of a required test protocol, we will not monitor the next test chamber. You will be entirely on your own. Good luck.
Listens:
257
Who:
GLaDOS
Who's gonna make the cake when I'm gone? You?
Listens:
2983
Who:
GLaDOS
Never mind. It's a mystery I'll solve later... By myself... Because you'll be dead. with the sphere, cycle through these:
Listens:
824
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't want to tell you you're business, but if it were me, I'd leave that thing alone.
Listens:
254
Who:
GLaDOS
Please do not attempt to remove testing apparatus from the testing area.
Listens:
264
Who:
GLaDOS
*ROAR*
Listens:
1338
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
One tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb.
Listens:
285
Who:
Cake Sphere
Come on, leave it alone.
Listens:
280
Who:
GLaDOS
One 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix.
Listens:
1596
Who:
Cake Sphere
I don't hate you
Listens:
29409
Who:
Turret
I'm not angry. Just go back to the testing area.
Listens:
419
Who:
GLaDOS
Shutting down
Listens:
12011
Who:
Turret
Self test error
Listens:
471
Who:
Turret
Look, we're both stuck in this place. I'll use lasers to inscribe a line down the center of the facility, and one half will be where you live and I'll live in the other half.
Listens:
2830
Who:
GLaDOS
While safety is one of many Enrichment Center goals, the Aperture Science High Energy Pellet, seen to the left of the chamber, can and has caused permanent disabilities such as vaporization.
Listens:
486
Who:
GLaDOS
A complimentary escape hatch will open in three... Two... One.
Listens:
354
Who:
GLaDOS
We are throwing a party in honor of your tremendous success.
Listens:
556
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROWL*
Listens:
3017
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
You shouldn't be here. This isn't safe for you.
Listens:
283
Who:
GLaDOS
Destroy your Companion Cube or the testing cannot continue.
Listens:
519
Who:
GLaDOS
Welcome to the final test!
Listens:
559
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, look at THAT thing! No, that other thing.
Listens:
3495
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Testing cannot continue until your Companion Cube has been incinerated.
Listens:
578
Who:
GLaDOS
stand back. The portal will open in three. two. one.
Listens:
1098
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
