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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
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Portal 1 Music
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TF2 Music
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Two cups rhubarb, sliced.
Listens:
263
Who:
Cake Sphere
Nine large egg yolks.
Listens:
296
Who:
Cake Sphere
There you are
Listens:
888
Who:
Turret
Do you smell something burning?
Listens:
3338
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Uhoh
Listens:
642
Who:
Turret
Three slash four cups butter or margarine.
Listens:
262
Who:
Cake Sphere
Cordless electric needle injector.
Listens:
282
Who:
Cake Sphere
Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test.
Listens:
7640
Who:
GLaDOS
Killing you and giving you good advice aren't mutually exclusive. The rocket really is the way to go.
Listens:
18258
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodnight
Listens:
9930
Who:
Turret
It says so right here in your personnel file: Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner who's passing shall not be mourned.
Listens:
5043
Who:
GLaDOS
Speaking of curiosity: you're curious about what happens after you die, right? Guess what: I know.
Listens:
1007
Who:
GLaDOS
Neurotoxin... [cough] [cough] So deadly... [cough] Choking... [laughter] I'm kidding!
Listens:
18250
Who:
GLaDOS
The Enrichment Center regrets to inform you that this next test is impossible.
Listens:
784
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it?
Listens:
4115
Who:
GLaDOS
Very impressive. Please note that any appearance of danger is merely a device to enhance your testing experience.
Listens:
402
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done! Be advised that the next test requires exposure to uninsulated electrical parts that may be dangerous under certain conditions.
Listens:
260
Who:
GLaDOS
You're not a good person. You know that, right?
Listens:
1694
Who:
GLaDOS
All subjects intending to handle high-energy gamma leaking portal technology must be informed that they MAY be informed of applicable regulatory compliance issues.
Listens:
432
Who:
GLaDOS
*ROAR*
Listens:
501
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
*HISS*
Listens:
465
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Searching
Listens:
472
Who:
Turret
Okay fine: DO touch it. Pick it up and just... Stuff it back into me.
Listens:
454
Who:
GLaDOS
Fish shaped ethyl benzene.
Listens:
466
Who:
Cake Sphere
Hi?
Listens:
1025
Who:
Turret
Uh oh. Somebody cut the cake. I told them to wait for you, but they did it anyway. There is still some left, though, if you hurry back.
Listens:
4680
Who:
GLaDOS
Is anyone there?
Listens:
870
Who:
GLaDOS
Please put me down
Listens:
914
Who:
Turret
You're doing quite well.
Listens:
275
Who:
GLaDOS
It has been replaced with a live-fire course designed for military androids.
Listens:
433
Who:
GLaDOS
No hard fealings
Listens:
976
Who:
Turret
You're not going the right way.
Listens:
461
Who:
GLaDOS
*HISS*
Listens:
607
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Where are we going?
Listens:
797
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
I am being serious now. That crazy thing is not part of any test protocol.
Listens:
264
Who:
GLaDOS
In the event that the weighted companion cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice.
Listens:
1061
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello again. To reiterate our previous warning, this test requires a mastery of the principles of portal momentum.
Listens:
2131
Who:
GLaDOS
The symptoms most commonly produced by Enrichment Center testing are superstition, perceiving inanimate objects as alive, and hallucinations.
Listens:
331
Who:
GLaDOS
You're doing very well!
Listens:
587
Who:
GLaDOS
The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that you will be baked, and then there will be cake.
Listens:
8838
Who:
GLaDOS
The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment.
Listens:
261
Who:
GLaDOS
Self test error
Listens:
479
Who:
Turret
While safety is one of many Enrichment Center goals, the Aperture Science High Energy Pellet, seen to the left of the chamber, can and has caused permanent disabilities such as vaporization.
Listens:
492
Who:
GLaDOS
Candy coated peanut butter pieces. Shaped like fish.
Listens:
3003
Who:
Cake Sphere
*ROAR*
Listens:
478
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
If you become light headed from thirst, feel free to pass out.
Listens:
368
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, look at THAT thing! No, that other thing.
Listens:
3545
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
You shouldn't be here. This isn't safe for you.
Listens:
298
Who:
GLaDOS
Illegal operation
Listens:
611
Who:
Turret
Awwww
Listens:
723
Who:
Turret
Three tablespoons rhubarb, on fire.
Listens:
688
Who:
Cake Sphere
Hibernating
Listens:
453
Who:
Turret
An escape hatch will open in three... Two... One.
Listens:
268
Who:
GLaDOS
We are very, very happy for your success.
Listens:
503
Who:
GLaDOS
Who's there?
Listens:
491
Who:
Turret
*HISS*
Listens:
1553
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Maybe you think you're helping yourself. But you're not. This isn't helping anyone.
Listens:
525
Who:
GLaDOS
Can I help you?
Listens:
475
Who:
Turret
*YIPE*
Listens:
4979
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Oh hey, you're the lady from the test! Hi!
Listens:
7373
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
There you are
Listens:
5800
Who:
Turret
[pain noise] You think you're doing some damage? Two plus two is... ten. IN BASE FOUR! I'M FINE!
Listens:
11693
Who:
GLaDOS
Once again, excellent work.
Listens:
264
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations! The test is now over.
Listens:
1544
Who:
GLaDOS
Vital testing apparatus destroyed.
Listens:
894
Who:
GLaDOS
As part of a previously mentioned required test protocol, we can no longer lie to you.
Listens:
263
Who:
GLaDOS
This is your fault. It didn't have to be like this.
Listens:
39561
Who:
GLaDOS
The Device, however, has not.
Listens:
422
Who:
GLaDOS
However, it cannot accompany you for the rest of the test and, unfortunately, must be euthanized.
Listens:
268
Who:
GLaDOS
Is anyone there?
Listens:
17080
Who:
Turret
Hello!
Listens:
17996
Who:
Turret
Oh! [Surprise]
Listens:
3465
Who:
GLaDOS
You're not smart. You're not a scientist. You're not a doctor. You're not even a fulltime employee. Where did your life go so wrong?
Listens:
13214
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't want to tell you you're business, but if it were me, I'd leave that thing alone.
Listens:
260
Who:
GLaDOS
Although the euthanizing process is remarkably painful, eight out of ten Aperture Science engineers believe that the Companion Cube is most likely incapable of feeling much pain.
Listens:
680
Who:
GLaDOS
Unknown error
Listens:
629
Who:
Turret
A party associate will arrive shortly to collect you for your party.
Listens:
486
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not look directly at the operational end of The Device.
Listens:
14953
Who:
GLaDOS
Searching
Listens:
614
Who:
Turret
All I know is I'm the only thing standing between us and them. Well, I was.
Listens:
1084
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahahaha
Listens:
575
Who:
Turret
Dispensing product
Listens:
708
Who:
Turret
Through no fault of the Enrichment Center, you have managed to trap yourself in this room.
Listens:
353
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center.
Listens:
25722
Who:
GLaDOS
Where do you think you're going?
Listens:
496
Who:
GLaDOS
You did it! The Weighted Companion Cube certainly brought you good luck.
Listens:
445
Who:
GLaDOS
I'll tell you what that thing isn't: It isn't yours. So leave it alone.
Listens:
276
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't believe me? Here, I'll put you on: [Hellooo!] That's you! That's how dumb you sound.
Listens:
120815
Who:
GLaDOS
It also says you were adopted. So that's funny, too.
Listens:
3146
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't forget garnishes such as:
Listens:
292
Who:
Cake Sphere
What's that?
Listens:
869
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Pull and peel licorice.
Listens:
287
Who:
Cake Sphere
I see you
Listens:
10997
Who:
Turret
For more information, please attend an Enrichment Center Electrical Safety seminar.
Listens:
263
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay, we're even now. You can stop.
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done! Remember: The Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter to Work Day is the perfect time to have her tested.
Listens:
8204
Who:
GLaDOS
Who's gonna make the cake when I'm gone? You?
Listens:
3033
Who:
GLaDOS
While it has been a faithful companion, your Companion Cube cannot accompany you through the rest of the test. If it could talk - and the Enrichment Center takes this opportunity to remind you that it cannot - it would tell you to go on without it because it would rather die in a fire than become a burden to you.
Listens:
8000
Who:
GLaDOS
Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an 'unsatisfactory' mark on your official testing record followed by death. Good luck!
Listens:
1317
Who:
GLaDOS
Please do not attempt to remove testing apparatus from the testing area.
Listens:
279
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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