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Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill, which may, in semi- rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth.
Listens:
3902
Who:
GLaDOS
Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an 'unsatisfactory' mark on your official testing record followed by death. Good luck!
Listens:
1266
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you think you're helping yourself. But you're not. This isn't helping anyone.
Listens:
509
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm not angry. Just go back to the testing area.
Listens:
408
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfect. Please move quickly to the chamberlock, as the effects of prolonged exposure to the Button are not part of this test.
Listens:
773
Who:
GLaDOS
Critical error
Listens:
1214
Who:
Turret
Stop shooting!
Listens:
587
Who:
Turret
There you are
Listens:
860
Who:
Turret
It was a morality core they installed after I flooded the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin to make me stop flooding the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin.
Listens:
4706
Who:
GLaDOS
That has got to be the dumbest thing that-whoah. Whoah, whoah, whoah. [The voice has subtly changed. Smoother, more seductive, less computerized]
Listens:
35819
Who:
GLaDOS
You did it! The Weighted Companion Cube certainly brought you good luck.
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
The experiment is nearing its conclusion.
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
Because despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far is my heart.
Listens:
3475
Who:
GLaDOS
What is that?
Listens:
959
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
While safety is one of many Enrichment Center goals, the Aperture Science High Energy Pellet, seen to the left of the chamber, can and has caused permanent disabilities such as vaporization.
Listens:
481
Who:
GLaDOS
Nine large egg yolks.
Listens:
276
Who:
Cake Sphere
What's your point, anyway? Survival? Well then, the last thing you want to do is hurt me.
Listens:
143229
Who:
GLaDOS
One 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix.
Listens:
1570
Who:
Cake Sphere
The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube cannot speak.
Listens:
513
Who:
GLaDOS
Injector needle gun.
Listens:
337
Who:
Cake Sphere
So get comfortable while I warm up the neurotoxin emitters ...
Listens:
974
Who:
GLaDOS
The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that you will be baked, and then there will be cake.
Listens:
8658
Who:
GLaDOS
The part of you that could have survived indefinitely is gone. I just struck you from the permanent record.
Listens:
436
Who:
GLaDOS
Rrr, I hate you.[PAIN LAUGHTER]
Listens:
55309
Who:
GLaDOS
Unbelievable ! You, [louder] Subject Name Here[/louder], must be the pride of [louder]Subject Hometown Here[/louder].
Listens:
6039
Who:
GLaDOS
One tablespoon all-purpose rhubarb.
Listens:
277
Who:
Cake Sphere
*HISS*
Listens:
349
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
This isn't brave. It's murder. What did I ever do to you?
Listens:
3688
Who:
GLaDOS
Where are you?
Listens:
301
Who:
GLaDOS
STOP! Okay, enough. I deleted it. No matter what happens now, you're dead.
Listens:
1549
Who:
GLaDOS
You're doing quite well.
Listens:
255
Who:
GLaDOS
Woooaaah!
Listens:
781
Who:
Turret
Your bussiness is appriciated
Listens:
489
Who:
Turret
*HISS*
Listens:
480
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
[pain noise] You think you're doing some damage? Two plus two is... ten. IN BASE FOUR! I'M FINE!
Listens:
11352
Who:
GLaDOS
Unless you have a plan for building some supercomputer parts in a big hurry, this place isn't going to be safe much longer.
Listens:
561
Who:
GLaDOS
*HISS*
Listens:
557
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
As part of a required test protocol, we will not monitor the next test chamber. You will be entirely on your own. Good luck.
Listens:
250
Who:
GLaDOS
For your own safety, do not destroy vital testing apparatus.
Listens:
893
Who:
GLaDOS
Hi?
Listens:
970
Who:
Turret
Who's there?
Listens:
468
Who:
Turret
As part of a previously mentioned required test protocol, we can no longer lie to you.
Listens:
247
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you even listening to me?
Listens:
421
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you still standing there?
Listens:
612
Who:
GLaDOS
Did you hear me? I said you don't care. Are you listening?
Listens:
2823
Who:
GLaDOS
Go ahead and break it. Hero. I don't care.
Listens:
478
Who:
GLaDOS
One and two third cups granulated sugar.
Listens:
257
Who:
Cake Sphere
*GRUNT*
Listens:
434
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Hey!
Listens:
3026
Who:
Turret
Firing
Listens:
667
Who:
Turret
Audible warning devices are required on all mobile equipment. However, alarms and flashing hazard lights have been found to agitate the high energy pellet and have therefore been disabled for your safety.
Listens:
553
Who:
GLaDOS
This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grid will vaporize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it - for instance, the Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube.
Listens:
637
Who:
GLaDOS
The talking is over.
Listens:
449
Who:
GLaDOS
It's not too late to turn back.
Listens:
284
Who:
GLaDOS
Sentry mode activated
Listens:
711
Who:
Turret
*SNARL*
Listens:
444
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Due to mandatory scheduled maintenance, the appropriate chamber for this testing sequence is currently unavailable.
Listens:
370
Who:
GLaDOS
Someone is going to get badly hurt.
Listens:
277
Who:
GLaDOS
One teaspoon grated orange rhubarb.
Listens:
249
Who:
Cake Sphere
I guess we both know that isn't going to happen.
Listens:
765
Who:
GLaDOS
What is THAT?
Listens:
3476
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Two cups rhubarb, sliced.
Listens:
250
Who:
Cake Sphere
*HISS*
Listens:
398
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Hello!
Listens:
17653
Who:
Turret
Did you just toss the Aperture Science Thing We Don't Know What It Does into the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator?
Listens:
10934
Who:
GLaDOS
Destroy your Companion Cube or the testing cannot continue.
Listens:
510
Who:
GLaDOS
Lawl
Listens:
1158
Who:
Turret
Waaaaaaaaah!
Listens:
702
Who:
GLaDOS
That thing you're attacking isn't important to me. It's the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It makes shoes for orphans.
Listens:
315
Who:
GLaDOS
What was that? Did you say something?
Listens:
366
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
1395
Who:
GLaDOS
That thing is probably some kind of raw sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it.
Listens:
3082
Who:
GLaDOS
stand back. The portal will open in three. two. one.
Listens:
1061
Who:
GLaDOS
Why...
Listens:
3055
Who:
Turret
Cordless electric needle injector.
Listens:
271
Who:
Cake Sphere
That's it. I'm done reasoning with you.
Listens:
423
Who:
GLaDOS
Frankly, this chamber was a mistake. If we were you, we would quit now.
Listens:
246
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh hey, you're the lady from the test! Hi!
Listens:
7194
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Good news: I figured out what that thing that you just burned up did.
Listens:
2861
Who:
GLaDOS
Here's a hint: you're gonna want to pack as much living as you can into the next couple of minutes.
Listens:
427
Who:
GLaDOS
These intra dimensional gates have proven to be completely safe.
Listens:
257
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROWL*
Listens:
846
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Now that you are in control of both portals, this next test could take a very, VERY, long time.
Listens:
322
Who:
GLaDOS
I feel sorry for you, really, because you're not even in the right place.
Listens:
389
Who:
GLaDOS
Incinerate your Companion Cube.
Listens:
465
Who:
GLaDOS
*SNORT*
Listens:
2054
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
It was a fun test and we're all impressed at how much you won. The test is over. Come back.
Listens:
457
Who:
GLaDOS
Slaughter electric needle injector.
Listens:
429
Who:
Cake Sphere
Don't believe me? Here, I'll put you on: [Hellooo!] That's you! That's how dumb you sound.
Listens:
120154
Who:
GLaDOS
Get ready to fling yourself. Fling into space.
Listens:
25963
Who:
GLaDOS
Four large eggs. One cup semi-sweet chocolate chips.
Listens:
340
Who:
Cake Sphere
Unknown error
Listens:
603
Who:
Turret
Hibernating
Listens:
437
Who:
Turret
Your entire life has been a mathematical error. A mathematical error I'm about to correct.
Listens:
6526
Who:
GLaDOS
When the testing is over, you will be missed.
Listens:
654
Who:
GLaDOS
Thank you for helping us help you help us all.
Listens:
8642
Who:
GLaDOS
You're not smart. You're not a scientist. You're not a doctor. You're not even a fulltime employee. Where did your life go so wrong?
Listens:
12937
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, look at THAT thing! No, that other thing.
Listens:
3450
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Well done! Remember: The Aperture Science Bring Your Daughter to Work Day is the perfect time to have her tested.
Listens:
8105
Who:
GLaDOS
We are very, very happy for your success.
Listens:
492
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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