Please make sure you own these games if you are going to listen to their content!
News: Loading...
Quote:
Who:
Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
Portal 1
Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
Like
+1
Tweet
@Portal2Sounds
1
2
3
4
5
Popular
Original Order
Random
This site requires that
Javascript be enabled
.
What's your point, anyway? Survival? Well then, the last thing you want to do is hurt me.
Listens:
95124
Who:
GLaDOS
Don't believe me? Here, I'll put you on: [Hellooo!] That's you! That's how dumb you sound.
Listens:
62072
Who:
GLaDOS
Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much. Do you want to marry it? WELL I WON'T LET YOU. How does that feel?
Listens:
31607
Who:
GLaDOS
Rrr, I hate you.[PAIN LAUGHTER]
Listens:
22542
Who:
GLaDOS
This is your fault. It didn't have to be like this.
Listens:
18311
Who:
GLaDOS
That has got to be the dumbest thing that-whoah. Whoah, whoah, whoah. [The voice has subtly changed. Smoother, more seductive, less computerized]
Listens:
14510
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello? Friend.
Listens:
13444
Who:
Turret
Get ready to fling yourself. Fling into space.
Listens:
10313
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't hate you
Listens:
8419
Who:
Turret
Nice job breaking it. Hero.
Listens:
8325
Who:
GLaDOS
Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said 'Goodbye' and you were like 'no way' and then I was all 'I was just pretending to murder you'? That was great!
Listens:
7803
Who:
GLaDOS
Killing you and giving you good advice aren't mutually exclusive. The rocket really is the way to go.
Listens:
6661
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not look directly at the operational end of The Device.
Listens:
6249
Who:
GLaDOS
Neurotoxin... [cough] [cough] So deadly... [cough] Choking... [laughter] I'm kidding!
Listens:
5482
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello and, again, welcome to the Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment center.
Listens:
5399
Who:
GLaDOS
There really was a cake...
Listens:
5264
Who:
GLaDOS
Is anyone there?
Listens:
5102
Who:
Turret
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee[bzzt]
Listens:
5039
Who:
GLaDOS
Ewww, what's wrong with your legs?
Listens:
4802
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Hello!
Listens:
4355
Who:
Turret
*GNASH*
Listens:
4120
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Did you just toss the Aperture Science Thing We Don't Know What It Does into the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator?
Listens:
3884
Who:
GLaDOS
You're not smart. You're not a scientist. You're not a doctor. You're not even a fulltime employee. Where did your life go so wrong?
Listens:
3420
Who:
GLaDOS
Shutting down
Listens:
3065
Who:
Turret
Goodnight
Listens:
2995
Who:
Turret
Good job on that, by the way. [back to computer voice] Sarcasm sphere self-test complete.
Listens:
2908
Who:
GLaDOS
I see you
Listens:
2744
Who:
Turret
[pain noise] You think you're doing some damage? Two plus two is... ten. IN BASE FOUR! I'M FINE!
Listens:
2490
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh hey, you're the lady from the test! Hi!
Listens:
2200
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
I'm going to kill you and all the cake is gone.
Listens:
2195
Who:
GLaDOS
While it has been a faithful companion, your Companion Cube cannot accompany you through the rest of the test. If it could talk - and the Enrichment Center takes this opportunity to remind you that it cannot - it would tell you to go on without it because it would rather die in a fire than become a burden to you.
Listens:
2065
Who:
GLaDOS
Por favor bordón de fallar Muchos gracias de fallar gracias
Listens:
1973
Who:
GLaDOS
Someday we'll remember this and laugh. and laugh. and laugh. Oh boy. Well. You may as well come on back.
Listens:
1943
Who:
GLaDOS
Well done, android. The Enrichment Center once again reminds you that android hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance.
Listens:
1852
Who:
GLaDOS
I invited your best friend the companion cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him.
Listens:
1828
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, what's in here?
Listens:
1661
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that you will be baked, and then there will be cake.
Listens:
1540
Who:
GLaDOS
Thank you for helping us help you help us all.
Listens:
1323
Who:
GLaDOS
Ayeyeyeyeye
Listens:
1321
Who:
Turret
I could take a bath in the stuff. Put it on cereal. Rub it right into my eyes. Honestly, it's not deadly at all. To me.
Listens:
1318
Who:
GLaDOS
When I said 'deadly' neurotoxin, the 'deadly' was in massive sarcasm quotes.
Listens:
1317
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing? Stop it! I... I... We are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you.
Listens:
1261
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you still there?
Listens:
1241
Who:
Turret
It says so right here in your personnel file: Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner who's passing shall not be mourned.
Listens:
1185
Who:
GLaDOS
There you are
Listens:
1161
Who:
Turret
Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test.
Listens:
1156
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROAN*
Listens:
1126
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice.
Listens:
1104
Who:
GLaDOS
For instance, the floor here will kill you - try to avoid it.
Listens:
1072
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey
Listens:
1055
Who:
Turret
Uh oh. Somebody cut the cake. I told them to wait for you, but they did it anyway. There is still some left, though, if you hurry back.
Listens:
1046
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodbye.
Listens:
1011
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you trying to escape? [chuckle] Things have changed since the last time you left the building. What's going on out there will make you wish you were back in here.
Listens:
1008
Who:
GLaDOS
Your entire life has been a mathematical error. A mathematical error I'm about to correct.
Listens:
1003
Who:
GLaDOS
Ooh, that thing has numbers on it!
Listens:
995
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
It was a morality core they installed after I flooded the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin to make me stop flooding the Enrichment Center with a deadly neurotoxin.
Listens:
969
Who:
GLaDOS
Fish shaped candies.
Listens:
960
Who:
Cake Sphere
*YIPE*
Listens:
954
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
It also says you were adopted. So that's funny, too.
Listens:
945
Who:
GLaDOS
All your other friends couldn't come either because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikable you are.
Listens:
906
Who:
GLaDOS
Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman's terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out.
Listens:
863
Who:
GLaDOS
Well, you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it?
Listens:
849
Who:
GLaDOS
The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak.
Listens:
848
Who:
GLaDOS
This isn't brave. It's murder. What did I ever do to you?
Listens:
827
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey, look at THAT thing! No, that other thing.
Listens:
774
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Target aquired.
Listens:
770
Who:
Turret
Unbelievable ! You, [louder] Subject Name Here[/louder], must be the pride of [louder]Subject Hometown Here[/louder].
Listens:
752
Who:
GLaDOS
Ahhhhhhhh!
Listens:
750
Who:
GLaDOS
The Companion Cube cannot continue through the testing. State and Local statutory regulations prohibit it from simply remaining here, alone and companionless. You must euthanize it.
Listens:
744
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey hey hey!
Listens:
710
Who:
Turret
Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grill, which may, in semi- rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth.
Listens:
707
Who:
GLaDOS
That thing is probably some kind of raw sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it.
Listens:
699
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROWL*
Listens:
689
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
'Shall not be mourned.' That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official.
Listens:
685
Who:
GLaDOS
You are kidding me.
Listens:
669
Who:
GLaDOS
You're still shuffling around a little, but believe me you're dead.
Listens:
634
Who:
GLaDOS
Candy coated peanut butter pieces. Shaped like fish.
Listens:
619
Who:
Cake Sphere
Who's gonna make the cake when I'm gone? You?
Listens:
609
Who:
GLaDOS
What is THAT?
Listens:
597
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Did you hear me? I said you don't care. Are you listening?
Listens:
590
Who:
GLaDOS
Quit now and cake will be served immediately.
Listens:
584
Who:
GLaDOS
I have an infinite capacity for knowledge, and even I'm not sure what's going on outside.
Listens:
575
Who:
GLaDOS
Fish shaped organic compounds and sediment shaped sediment.
Listens:
567
Who:
Cake Sphere
*GROWL*
Listens:
565
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Look, we're both stuck in this place. I'll use lasers to inscribe a line down the center of the facility, and one half will be where you live and I'll live in the other half.
Listens:
563
Who:
GLaDOS
I have your brain scanned and permanently backed up in case something terrible happens to you, which it's just about to.
Listens:
563
Who:
GLaDOS
Are you coming back?
Listens:
563
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Do you smell something burning?
Listens:
562
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Oh! [Surprise]
Listens:
562
Who:
GLaDOS
I sincerely hope you weren't expecting a response. Because I'm not talking to you.
Listens:
561
Who:
GLaDOS
All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees Kelvin.
Listens:
561
Who:
GLaDOS
Okay. The test is over. You win. Go back to the recovery annex. For your cake.
Listens:
561
Who:
GLaDOS
Fish shaped crackers.
Listens:
561
Who:
Cake Sphere
You don't even care. Do you?
Listens:
560
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop squirming and die like an adult or I'm going to delete your backup.
Listens:
560
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey!
Listens:
560
Who:
Turret
*SNORT*
Listens:
559
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Good news: I figured out what that thing that you just burned up did.
Listens:
559
Who:
GLaDOS
Why...
Listens:
559
Who:
Turret
Rest assured that an independent panel of ethicists has absolved the Enrichment Center, Aperture Science employees, and all test subjects of any moral responsibility for the Companion Cube euthanizing process.
Listens:
558
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
Like these quotes? Share them with your friends!
