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Portal 2
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Rest assured that an independent panel of ethicists has absolved the Enrichment Center, Aperture Science employees, and all test subjects of any moral responsibility for the Companion Cube euthanizing process.
Listens:
2747
Who:
GLaDOS
Assume the party escort submission position or you will miss the party.
Listens:
2695
Who:
GLaDOS
I have an infinite capacity for knowledge, and even I'm not sure what's going on outside.
Listens:
2545
Who:
GLaDOS
[DEATH SCREAM]
Listens:
2434
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
You chose this path. Now I have a surprise for you. Deploying surprise in Five. Four.
Listens:
2182
Who:
GLaDOS
*SNORT*
Listens:
2150
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Hello again. To reiterate our previous warning, this test requires a mastery of the principles of portal momentum.
Listens:
2089
Who:
GLaDOS
Fish shaped organic compounds and sediment shaped sediment.
Listens:
1921
Who:
Cake Sphere
Nap time
Listens:
1788
Who:
Turret
You're not a good person. You know that, right?
Listens:
1672
Who:
GLaDOS
STOP! Okay, enough. I deleted it. No matter what happens now, you're dead.
Listens:
1601
Who:
GLaDOS
One 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix.
Listens:
1596
Who:
Cake Sphere
You euthanized your faithful Companion Cube more quickly than any test subject on record. Congratulations.
Listens:
1532
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
1527
Who:
Turret
Congratulations! The test is now over.
Listens:
1526
Who:
GLaDOS
*HISS*
Listens:
1510
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Hello?
Listens:
1426
Who:
GLaDOS
Who ARE you?
Listens:
1418
Who:
Turret
Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science self esteem fund for girls? It's true!
Listens:
1362
Who:
GLaDOS
*ROAR*
Listens:
1338
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Thank you for participating in this Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment activity.
Listens:
1316
Who:
GLaDOS
For your own safety and the safety of others, please refrain from touching [bzzzzzt]
Listens:
1297
Who:
GLaDOS
Is that a gun?
Listens:
1297
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an 'unsatisfactory' mark on your official testing record followed by death. Good luck!
Listens:
1290
Who:
GLaDOS
Goodbye
Listens:
1267
Who:
Turret
Critical error
Listens:
1244
Who:
Turret
Who are you?
Listens:
1226
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Starting now, there's going to be a lot less conversation and a lot more killing.
Listens:
1223
Who:
GLaDOS
Alalalawl
Listens:
1200
Who:
Turret
Lawl
Listens:
1185
Who:
Turret
*GROWL*
Listens:
1181
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Sleep mode activated
Listens:
1180
Who:
Turret
Enrichment Center regulations require both hands to be empty before any cake can be served.
Listens:
1155
Who:
GLaDOS
Very good! You are now in possession of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device.
Listens:
1146
Who:
GLaDOS
stand back. The portal will open in three. two. one.
Listens:
1098
Who:
GLaDOS
All I know is I'm the only thing standing between us and them. Well, I was.
Listens:
1073
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohh!
Listens:
1072
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop what you are doing and assume the party escort submission position.
Listens:
1058
Who:
GLaDOS
In the event that the weighted companion cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice.
Listens:
1048
Who:
GLaDOS
All right, keep doing whatever it is you think you're doing.
Listens:
1036
Who:
GLaDOS
There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to.
Listens:
1018
Who:
GLaDOS
So get comfortable while I warm up the neurotoxin emitters ...
Listens:
1009
Who:
GLaDOS
Speaking of curiosity: you're curious about what happens after you die, right? Guess what: I know.
Listens:
1000
Who:
GLaDOS
Hi?
Listens:
999
Who:
Turret
Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper.
Listens:
981
Who:
GLaDOS
What is that?
Listens:
980
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
No hard fealings
Listens:
957
Who:
Turret
I know you're there. I can feel you here.
Listens:
953
Who:
GLaDOS
Most importantly, under no circumstances should you remove the device from the testing area.
Listens:
935
Who:
GLaDOS
Sorry, we're closed
Listens:
929
Who:
Turret
An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands.'
Listens:
928
Who:
Cake Sphere
To ensure the safe performance of all authorized activities, do not destroy vital testing apparatus.
Listens:
923
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, what's that?
Listens:
920
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
For your own safety, do not destroy vital testing apparatus.
Listens:
920
Who:
GLaDOS
Please put me down
Listens:
900
Who:
Turret
Could you come over here?
Listens:
891
Who:
Turret
There you are
Listens:
881
Who:
Turret
Vital testing apparatus destroyed.
Listens:
877
Who:
GLaDOS
Do not touch the operational end of The Device.
Listens:
873
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROWL*
Listens:
871
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
You've been wrong about every single thing you've ever done, including this thing.
Listens:
870
Who:
GLaDOS
Gotcha!
Listens:
863
Who:
Turret
That thing you burned up isn't important to me. It's the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It made shoes for orphans.
Listens:
860
Who:
GLaDOS
[pain sound]
Listens:
855
Who:
GLaDOS
Is anyone there?
Listens:
852
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, I'm gonna kill you.
Listens:
848
Who:
GLaDOS
What's that?
Listens:
833
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Never mind. It's a mystery I'll solve later... By myself... Because you'll be dead. with the sphere, cycle through these:
Listens:
824
Who:
GLaDOS
File deleted.
Listens:
819
Who:
GLaDOS
The difference between us is that I can feel pain.
Listens:
817
Who:
GLaDOS
Woooaaah!
Listens:
797
Who:
Turret
Perfect. Please move quickly to the chamberlock, as the effects of prolonged exposure to the Button are not part of this test.
Listens:
787
Who:
GLaDOS
I'm not kidding now. Turn back or I will kill you.
Listens:
784
Who:
GLaDOS
I guess we both know that isn't going to happen.
Listens:
782
Who:
GLaDOS
The Enrichment Center regrets to inform you that this next test is impossible.
Listens:
777
Who:
GLaDOS
Where are we going?
Listens:
771
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one.
Listens:
761
Who:
GLaDOS
What's that noise?
Listens:
761
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
I don't blame you
Listens:
757
Who:
Turret
Hey! It's me!
Listens:
752
Who:
Turret
Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of all enrichment center activities, serious injuries may occur.
Listens:
750
Who:
GLaDOS
Please place the Weighted Storage Cube on the Fifteen Hundred Megawatt Aperture Science Heavy Duty Super-Colliding Super Button.
Listens:
738
Who:
GLaDOS
Waaaaaaaaah!
Listens:
737
Who:
GLaDOS
Place your Companion Cube in the incinerator.
Listens:
731
Who:
GLaDOS
Sentry mode activated
Listens:
731
Who:
Turret
Have I lied to you? I mean in this room. Trust me, leave that thing alone.
Listens:
725
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh well. If you want my advice, you should just lie down in front of a rocket. Trust me, it'll be a lot less painful than the neurotoxin.
Listens:
723
Who:
GLaDOS
Your business is appreciated.
Listens:
723
Who:
Toilet
Fantastic! You remained resolute and resourceful in an atmosphere of extreme pessimism.
Listens:
717
Who:
GLaDOS
Fish shaped dirt.
Listens:
703
Who:
Cake Sphere
Awwww
Listens:
703
Who:
Turret
*HISS*
Listens:
699
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Dispensing product
Listens:
698
Who:
Turret
HA! I'm making more. That's going to take a few minutes, though. Meanwhile... oh look, it's your old pal the rocket turret.
Listens:
689
Who:
GLaDOS
Put me down!
Listens:
682
Who:
Turret
Firing
Listens:
681
Who:
Turret
Time out for a second. That wasn't supposed to happen.
Listens:
677
Who:
GLaDOS
Unfortunately, as much as I'd love to now, I can't get the neurotoxin into your head any faster.
Listens:
675
Who:
GLaDOS
Although the euthanizing process is remarkably painful, eight out of ten Aperture Science engineers believe that the Companion Cube is most likely incapable of feeling much pain.
Listens:
671
Who:
GLaDOS
Three tablespoons rhubarb, on fire.
Listens:
671
Who:
Cake Sphere
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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