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Portal 2
Portal 2 DLC
Portal 2 PTI
Portal 2 Music
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Portal 1 Music
Team Fortress 2
TF2 Music
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Hello?
Listens:
2687
Who:
GLaDOS
Assume the party escort submission position or you will miss the party.
Listens:
2663
Who:
GLaDOS
I have an infinite capacity for knowledge, and even I'm not sure what's going on outside.
Listens:
2480
Who:
GLaDOS
[DEATH SCREAM]
Listens:
2307
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
You chose this path. Now I have a surprise for you. Deploying surprise in Five. Four.
Listens:
2090
Who:
GLaDOS
*SNORT*
Listens:
2027
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Hello again. To reiterate our previous warning, this test requires a mastery of the principles of portal momentum.
Listens:
2026
Who:
GLaDOS
Fish shaped organic compounds and sediment shaped sediment.
Listens:
1886
Who:
Cake Sphere
Nap time
Listens:
1741
Who:
Turret
You're not a good person. You know that, right?
Listens:
1577
Who:
GLaDOS
One 18.25 ounce package chocolate cake mix.
Listens:
1540
Who:
Cake Sphere
STOP! Okay, enough. I deleted it. No matter what happens now, you're dead.
Listens:
1494
Who:
GLaDOS
You euthanized your faithful Companion Cube more quickly than any test subject on record. Congratulations.
Listens:
1491
Who:
GLaDOS
Congratulations! The test is now over.
Listens:
1467
Who:
GLaDOS
Hello?
Listens:
1466
Who:
Turret
Hello?
Listens:
1367
Who:
GLaDOS
Who ARE you?
Listens:
1349
Who:
Turret
Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science self esteem fund for girls? It's true!
Listens:
1312
Who:
GLaDOS
*HISS*
Listens:
1272
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Thank you for participating in this Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment activity.
Listens:
1259
Who:
GLaDOS
Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an 'unsatisfactory' mark on your official testing record followed by death. Good luck!
Listens:
1236
Who:
GLaDOS
Is that a gun?
Listens:
1223
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Goodbye
Listens:
1218
Who:
Turret
For your own safety and the safety of others, please refrain from touching [bzzzzzt]
Listens:
1205
Who:
GLaDOS
Critical error
Listens:
1176
Who:
Turret
Starting now, there's going to be a lot less conversation and a lot more killing.
Listens:
1153
Who:
GLaDOS
Sleep mode activated
Listens:
1132
Who:
Turret
Who are you?
Listens:
1131
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Alalalawl
Listens:
1130
Who:
Turret
*GROWL*
Listens:
1126
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
Lawl
Listens:
1124
Who:
Turret
Enrichment Center regulations require both hands to be empty before any cake can be served.
Listens:
1119
Who:
GLaDOS
Very good! You are now in possession of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device.
Listens:
1096
Who:
GLaDOS
All I know is I'm the only thing standing between us and them. Well, I was.
Listens:
1028
Who:
GLaDOS
Stop what you are doing and assume the party escort submission position.
Listens:
1026
Who:
GLaDOS
In the event that the weighted companion cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice.
Listens:
1021
Who:
GLaDOS
stand back. The portal will open in three. two. one.
Listens:
1016
Who:
GLaDOS
There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to.
Listens:
979
Who:
GLaDOS
Ohh!
Listens:
976
Who:
GLaDOS
All right, keep doing whatever it is you think you're doing.
Listens:
975
Who:
GLaDOS
So get comfortable while I warm up the neurotoxin emitters ...
Listens:
942
Who:
GLaDOS
Speaking of curiosity: you're curious about what happens after you die, right? Guess what: I know.
Listens:
937
Who:
GLaDOS
Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper.
Listens:
933
Who:
GLaDOS
Hi?
Listens:
932
Who:
Turret
No hard fealings
Listens:
920
Who:
Turret
Most importantly, under no circumstances should you remove the device from the testing area.
Listens:
906
Who:
GLaDOS
What is that?
Listens:
904
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
To ensure the safe performance of all authorized activities, do not destroy vital testing apparatus.
Listens:
896
Who:
GLaDOS
An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands.'
Listens:
888
Who:
Cake Sphere
Sorry, we're closed
Listens:
878
Who:
Turret
For your own safety, do not destroy vital testing apparatus.
Listens:
878
Who:
GLaDOS
I know you're there. I can feel you here.
Listens:
870
Who:
GLaDOS
Please put me down
Listens:
861
Who:
Turret
Oh, what's that?
Listens:
859
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Could you come over here?
Listens:
855
Who:
Turret
Do not touch the operational end of The Device.
Listens:
835
Who:
GLaDOS
There you are
Listens:
833
Who:
Turret
Vital testing apparatus destroyed.
Listens:
830
Who:
GLaDOS
*GROWL*
Listens:
829
Who:
Aggressive Sphere
You've been wrong about every single thing you've ever done, including this thing.
Listens:
829
Who:
GLaDOS
That thing you burned up isn't important to me. It's the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It made shoes for orphans.
Listens:
823
Who:
GLaDOS
Is anyone there?
Listens:
823
Who:
GLaDOS
Gotcha!
Listens:
819
Who:
Turret
[pain sound]
Listens:
799
Who:
GLaDOS
Oh, I'm gonna kill you.
Listens:
794
Who:
GLaDOS
Never mind. It's a mystery I'll solve later... By myself... Because you'll be dead. with the sphere, cycle through these:
Listens:
784
Who:
GLaDOS
What's that?
Listens:
780
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
The difference between us is that I can feel pain.
Listens:
772
Who:
GLaDOS
Woooaaah!
Listens:
758
Who:
Turret
The Enrichment Center regrets to inform you that this next test is impossible.
Listens:
755
Who:
GLaDOS
Perfect. Please move quickly to the chamberlock, as the effects of prolonged exposure to the Button are not part of this test.
Listens:
752
Who:
GLaDOS
File deleted.
Listens:
752
Who:
GLaDOS
I guess we both know that isn't going to happen.
Listens:
749
Who:
GLaDOS
Where are we going?
Listens:
737
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
I'm not kidding now. Turn back or I will kill you.
Listens:
734
Who:
GLaDOS
I don't blame you
Listens:
726
Who:
Turret
Place your Companion Cube in the incinerator.
Listens:
717
Who:
GLaDOS
We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one.
Listens:
716
Who:
GLaDOS
Hey! It's me!
Listens:
716
Who:
Turret
Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of all enrichment center activities, serious injuries may occur.
Listens:
711
Who:
GLaDOS
What's that noise?
Listens:
710
Who:
Curiosity Sphere
Please place the Weighted Storage Cube on the Fifteen Hundred Megawatt Aperture Science Heavy Duty Super-Colliding Super Button.
Listens:
708
Who:
GLaDOS
Fantastic! You remained resolute and resourceful in an atmosphere of extreme pessimism.
Listens:
697
Who:
GLaDOS
Have I lied to you? I mean in this room. Trust me, leave that thing alone.
Listens:
696
Who:
GLaDOS
Sentry mode activated
Listens:
695
Who:
Turret
Your business is appreciated.
Listens:
688
Who:
Toilet
Oh well. If you want my advice, you should just lie down in front of a rocket. Trust me, it'll be a lot less painful than the neurotoxin.
Listens:
676
Who:
GLaDOS
Waaaaaaaaah!
Listens:
676
Who:
GLaDOS
Fish shaped dirt.
Listens:
659
Who:
Cake Sphere
Dispensing product
Listens:
658
Who:
Turret
Awwww
Listens:
658
Who:
Turret
HA! I'm making more. That's going to take a few minutes, though. Meanwhile... oh look, it's your old pal the rocket turret.
Listens:
654
Who:
GLaDOS
Three tablespoons rhubarb, on fire.
Listens:
651
Who:
Cake Sphere
Put me down!
Listens:
649
Who:
Turret
Although the euthanizing process is remarkably painful, eight out of ten Aperture Science engineers believe that the Companion Cube is most likely incapable of feeling much pain.
Listens:
648
Who:
GLaDOS
Time out for a second. That wasn't supposed to happen.
Listens:
648
Who:
GLaDOS
When the testing is over, you will be missed.
Listens:
643
Who:
GLaDOS
What are you doing?
Listens:
641
Who:
GLaDOS
Firing
Listens:
641
Who:
Turret
Do not submerge The Device in liquid, even partially.
Listens:
639
Who:
GLaDOS
00:00 / 00:00
Test Player
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